Spilling the Beans

I have missed you

So very much

Every day

Of this decrepit life

I wallow in your desire

And in my pain

Of separation,

I am sorry it must be so,

I wish everything was somehow different, 

But it must be 

For nothing would 

Turn perfectly if

Courses were changed,

All I must tell you

Is that I am yours,

Yours,

Yours,

Yours 

Until the day my soul

Parts from my body,

I shall be yours. 

Visually Stimulating

Thank God for visuals, they ROCK my life and turn it sideways. Energy, colors, light, movement are such a huge part of existence, something we tend to forget. Visualizing energy interacting to the sound of music brings back that thought of energy running the world, of how much control it actually has.  I am obsessed with watching itunes visuals while listening to music; it creates this sense of unity with the senses sight and sound in the most incredible array of shapes and color possible. I cannot escape my desire to immerse myself in energy, in light, in unity. 

our box.

your love will be

safe with me

in our box of eternity

along the golden sands

of eden 

we will frolic

like pixies practicing magic

this is our world 

our world of love and peace

there hath no rules

or greed

in this place of immortality

we shine green

and purple

with hints of the rainbow in our hair

our bodies mold into one

we are forever

interconnected

for all time.

Temptress

I got you

On my mind

At this time

Of the day;

It's navy outside

This is the time

I get lonely,

You're a babe

And I ain't bad look'in,

Let's get together

So we can both win.

Let's get in each other's 

Arms and roll around

For a lil while,

Your eyes are soft and inviting

Your smile and laugh

Tells me to move in 

The bath, 

So we can get together

A place we're sure to win.

Accept me 

Oh pretty please,

I love being you're

Little sexy lover,

Pretty darlin

Take me into your

Warm bed,

Where we get together

For a fabulous win,

Oh lovely temptress

Drive me to my insanity

Toward the stars

That I see perfectly

When we're together,

In this sort of heaven.

Sex Eyes

I see you

With me,

But only inside

My mind,

Imagination is

Potent 

And fake,

Yet I will

Settle 

Until you 

Are mine.

I want

You and me,

Together as

Lovers,

Like Romeo and Juliet

Or Ellen and Porsha,

We must be,

Because of

Our one look;

A single

Lock of eyes

Addicted

Me for life;

I must have 

You, and

You, me.

Let's explore 

Each other

For a while,

See where it goes,

I know

You and I

Shall make 

The days 

Sunny 

Once again

For earth 

To enjoy. 

From My First Sight

The circumference of your eyes 

Sport the colour pink,

As your full lips

Complement the color palate

Along with your slitted blue eyes,

And light straight hair 

That falls perfectly flat

All around your oval face.

Your eyes suck me in

Stealing my soul,

Confusion and Interest arise

As I observe your being,

The most beautiful creature 

Ever seen.

You host my fiercest dreams

By day and night,

I cannot escape 

Your magnetism,

I am your pet

And you my ruler,

Control me to your

Liking,

I will obey lovingly,

For my life depends

On your love. 

La Siren

I do not realize this feeling 

Building at the pit of my stomach

It's molding itself tightly; 

Winding with such force

It squeezes my heart, 

Resulting in a missed beat

By love's drummer;

When our eyes meet, 

My skin melts...

You see your affects 

Upon me,

I can not read your mind,

You're a mystery,

A divine mystery

I want to understand

Inside and out,

In complete fullness;

But I already know

That I somehow,

Love you.

The Truth!

What to believe

Is true or 

False,

We all know 

Different facts,

All of it makes

Sense somehow,

I do not know what 

To know,

How to know,

Nor where to know

Facts and imaginary words,

I can be happy

In my own ignorance,

So leave my mind be

To choose freely.

untitled 7

Something has entered

Quietly,

Carefully,

Dangerously intoxicating,

It floats along blood streams,

Commanding bodily functions,

Taken off guard 

Slip into the dark

Just to find light

In the brain,

"Do this! Do that!"

Connecting it's plasma membrane 

To the walls of the brain,

Leave it to keep this high

So dependent,

Without it will cause 

Death of the soul.

untitled 6

Love, love, love,

All the gooey, gushy stuff

That once made me gag,

Now have found meaning

In my life,

Your eyes looking in mine

Brings light into

My dark world,

I can now see all there is

To be seen,

Instead of walking blindly

Into nameless rooms;

I am not sure what we are,

Nor what it will come to mean,

I do not care,

For the present is all to worry about

And there is no worries 

Clouding my wandering mind

When you are with me

In our fire pit of sensations

Gushing with every bit of

Ooey, Gooey, Chewy 

Love. 

untitled 5

Nothing tastes the same

As it once did

Before I met you,

My appetite is suppressed

Though I try to feed it

Not one thing tastes as 

It once did,

I rather bite 

Your glorious neck,

Lick your porcelain-shade skin,

Kiss your face and mouth,

And lay in your arms,

I am lost inside of this 

Forcefield surrounding 

Our human bodies,

You are the nourishment in my life

I need only you

To survive,

Please feed my cravings,

Keep me alive

So I can always be with you. 

untitled 4

How can I 

Possibly describe

The never ending 

Saga of these

Butterflies swarming

Inside of me,

Every chance our eyes meet

They wildly fly

In circles and circles

Until I must release them 

Into you,

Magnetic pulls

Of fluttering wings

Draw us unwillingly

Into each other's arms,

There to rest

With an unsettling urgency

Notifying brains

That we must belong.

untitled 3

It starts with a 

Glance,

One single 

Look

Left to 

Stare,

And turns into a

Smile,

Sweep

Me off my feet,

Into the air you

Swing

And run into a

Twirl,

Laugh

At the cheesiness,

Sing

Along with every song,

Which turns into a

Touch,

A wordless chorus

Kiss

Grab

Bite

Feel

Smell;

Born again in your arms

I will not leave

Until death takes me from you.

untitled 2

Fire runs

Up my spine

With fervor 

Toward my brain,

Lit by thine eyes so

Lovely,

Your being is my ecstasy, 

Intoxicating, 

Venomous, 

Oh so incandescent

Floating as I do

In your arms, 

Rolling to the beat 

Of two bodies

Floating in the ocean,

Nothing we do or don't do 

Is wrong,

All is right

In thine light,

In thine love,

Capture me and 

Run wild

Amongst the freest 

Pack of wolves,

Roam with me

Across el mundo 

Eternally

I plead;

You are mine

As I am yours,

Nothing will separate 

This love

Of the ages,

You light the flames

That run up my spine

Into my brain,

Into my blood

All through my soul

Connecting the heavens above

And the world below

We create 

Perfect harmony. 

untitled 1

Breadth slowly leaves my lungs

Into yours,

Sparkling so bright

Inside you,

Through your eyes

I finally realize

Words are useless 

In times like these,

Perfection is hard to find

But you have been found,

No chance to describe 

Any one moment, 

Only to feel

The way we do

Right now.

Eat You Alive

Any closer

I turn into 

The Hulk,

Minus incredible,

I will kill you

I will hurt your ego

With evil

And darkness;

Not a step 

Nearer,

You will feel 

The wrath

Of darkness

Tickle your spine

I am the devil

I will eat your soul

And you will be mine;

I will consume

All in my rapture,

RUN AWAY! 

Like little girls,

Fear

Shows through

Your wet pants,

Come back

Cowards

So I may devour your

Unworthy selves.

Humbug

I'm going crazy. I can't concentrate. I won't do work. I want to dig a hole and crawl inside it, to stay there forever. Leave me alone. I hate you. I don't ever want to see anything again, except the color black. Drip, drip, drip the ADHD goes. Drip, drip, drip inside my claustrophobic brain. Drained with anger and exhaustion. Fetal position feels good. I want to stay here, do not feel bad for me, do not talk about me, pretend I never existed, leave me be. BALLLLALALAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAATTTTTEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I do not like you. 

Yeah, HATE is a Strong Word.

I HATE. Sometimes I just hate. 

Life.

Art.

Studying.

Friends.

Family.

Food.

Body.

Computers.

People.

Clothes.

Animals.

Walls.

Homes.

Apartments.

Plants.

Hearts.

War.

Ugly people.

Pretty people.

Cars.

Bombs.

Feet.

Bruises.

Sick.

Genetics.

Trees.

Vacuuming.

Cleaning.

Cooking.

T.V.

Thoughts.

Souls.

Everything.

Sometimes I just hate everything.  

Overdose

The needle 

It drained

More than 

Wanted

No thoughts

Escape 

My brain

I see

Yet do 

Not think

Stoic

Broken

Dead.

This is 

Destiny

How I

Am supposed

To be,

My sad 

Life

Bears no 

Witness

To ever

Possessing 

Intelligence

A barren

Land 

Filled with

Waste,

No past

To remember

And nunca

Future 

To behold,

Take 

Everything 

I do not 

Have and

Burn it

Till the mass

Turns to ash

And the 

Sky 

Grows

Gray.

Please

Pick up your pieces

Throw them in the pond

Let them sink,

Forget,

Please forget,

Hate is the cause

Please forget,

You can do nothing right,

Please forget, 

The ugly appearance,

Please forget,

Expectations unmet,

Oh my God

Let me forget. 

Tell Me How It Is

This is the part where I retreat,

No saliva left to wet 

A saddened mouth,

Dried to infinity

The soul weeps gently,

Quietly,

For no one to hear,

Keys slamming on the floor

Heard in the distance cry,

In harmony with the microwave

Signaling the completion heating food

Hunger has left long ago,

So the soup stays as is,

A beep signals sanity

And then it is gone;

Lips stay dry and cracked

The mark of dehydration,

It weighs heavily 

Yet not a care

For all is lost 

In the mind.