everything

Past memories. past existence. past lovers. past mistakes. past populations. past away. 

Today, tomorrow, ten years from now is going to be classified as the past one day. Forgotten, thrown away, buried, what has past constantly haunts the present. 

Time flies.

Time moves.

Time slows. 

Time stops.

I can't control anything that was. I can control what will be. Who I am at the moment deciphers the choice I make. Many that I will make, I shouldn't. I know this, I know what I should do, but what I want out weighs the better choice. Regret constantly fills my lungs, burning with each breadth I take.  But I have no right to feel regret. I could have done something differently,  however I CHOSE not to; so I cannot regret anything that I have done or will do. 

I am constantly distracted. By my thoughts, surroundings, offers, parties, books, internet, boys, talking, drawing. I hate studying. I despise useless information I only have to learn for educational purposes, only to forget everything I was "taught." I don't forget everything but damn it, I just like to have fun. I LOVE to have fun. That is my goal in life-to have FUN! to be content with who I am and what I stand for and hopefully make a decent living doing something i love. 

this is all pretty stupid. so i'm going to write later. ps-I am supposed to be studying, and I'm going out now, on a monday, while i should be studying. ha. i am a horrible person.