To Love and To Loose

Can't breathe.

Heart thumping.

Appetite loss. 

Weight loss. 

Distractions.

Red cheeks. 

Bad hair day.

Lots of makeup. 

Lots of worrying.

Pace.

Back and forth, 

Back and forth.

Sway.

Drink.

Shots.

Forget.

Remember. 

Shots.

Tears. 

Heart drops.

Sinks. 

Ends. 

Glass

See right through you,

No way to hide,

Perfectly clear,

Concise, 

Hard and protective,

Although sometimes ignorantly harmful,

Grace many window panes 

Around the world 

Ever present

And beautiful in all

Your transparency. 

Dead or Alive?

Once again I see 

This life rolling by

Without a chance to see it

In clear tune

Holding on to what I know is true,

Can bring me down 

Just as easily as lies

Leave everything as is

And escape to the water's edge

Where no one will know

My destination

Only that I am either

Dead or alive. 

Markets and Me (song-maybe?)

I'm lost in my own world, 

Caught up in the markets, 

All the monetary values,

And superficiality. 

I'm tired of it all, 

The changes, 

The prices,

The people, 

I can't do much against it,

My hope of escaping 

Is slowly dwindling.

Checking out the display of knives,

The durability of the ceilings that surround me,

But I know the easy way out 

Won't be so,

I'm a moron 

For thinking about it.

I'm a little superstitious, 

Yes I'm a little skeptical, 

Even a little superficious, 

Everyone is at least once in a while,

Someone shout

So I know I'm not the only 

Left alive.

This life is coming to a close,

I feel it,

I sense it,

A terrible loneliness that 

No one understands

What my mind produces

Since they're caught up

In their own miserable lives. 

I'll keep moving toward freedom,

Looking for an absolution,

To these nomadic ways we call

Advanced, 

All I can do is believe,

Believe that one day life 

Will be alright. 

All we can do is strive,

Strive to make this life

O.k. 

Strive to make it all fine. 

My Dracula

Caught by the glance of a stranger,

Intrigued 

For his smile was unusually perfect,

I harbor a growing hunger

Met with an overwhelming desire

He approaches me,

Touches my arm with a cool rush,

Asks me to have dinner with him,

Although he didn't eat, simply watched.

I was never frightened,

There was a flaming connection between us.

He told me he loved me two weeks later.

I drank his blood that night,

And he drank mine, 

Connecting our blood for all eternity,  

He is my love, my maker, my soulmate. 

My Dracula. 

My Dear (song)

I'd like to say bonjour to you my dear,

It's been quite awhile,

Since we've said goodbye,

Used to drink together every night,

Sit in the car everyday, 

Listen to music

Plus some other things. 

So nice to see you again,

You think so too,

I can't help you've got my heart again

I feel I may have yours too

We walk round the park 

Talking how we used to,

Bonjour to you my dear,

You look so wonderful with 

A weary suit and crooked tie,

Holding hands as we walk

Is as normal as the rain 

And with as much intensity as lightning, 

I'm glad to have your flowers

In my hair once more.

The day is as short as can be,

Parting our separate ways,

You smile,

I walk away,

Drive home

And try to forget. 

Auvuir to you my dear, 

I've been hurt too many times

Now the smell of your

Oder reeks of lies

Swarming  over this relationship

Sorry to say we were too immature

To know anything at all. 

Kissing Crust (song)

I tried to let you know 

That I care, 

I tried to tell you with my 

Eyes and mouth,

But my feelings seem to be

Unrequited, 

I'm not going to cry,

I'm not going to hurt,

It's not meant to be

And that's something

I must see. 

Everything we did,

Every word you said,

All the looks in the world 

Will never compare, 

To the way we look at 

Each other,

I'm not going to cry,

I'm not going to hurt, 

It's not meant to be,

And that's something

I must see. 

I will be just fine,

Tomorrow when I 

Can think clearly,

For now my heart sinks

When you talk to another

As I'm standing right there

Hurting.

I'm not going to cry, 

I'm not going to hurt,

Maybe it's not meant to be,

And that's something

I must see.

Life goes on,

Love comes and goes,

So let's stay friends,

It may be a lie,

It may just work out,

Is it too much to ask?

I'm not going to cry,

I'm not going to hurt, 

It may not be meant to be,

And that's something

I must see. 

No I won't cry,

I won't hurt,

The pain's too much to take,

I can't let you get to me,

So I placate the pain

By eating the words 

I'll never say. 

Nudiustertian (song)

The day before yesterday,

I saw you

Waving to the sun,

Smiling at the moon,

Wishing on the stars, 

I'm skeptical yes I know,

I'm superstitious and that's ok, 

We're all somewhere in this 

Wild place.

See the day,

See the night,

Kiss the morning 

Hello for me, 

I'm tired yes I know,

I' m fucked up and that's ok,

We all get off track

Once in a while. 

Running in the sunlight,

Laughing in the moonlight,

Our lives reflect in the sky

Above,

I'm avoided yes I know,

I'm used and that's ok,

We're all used and abused

In this life. 

Working under the bright light,

Sleeping under the night light,

The phone rings but 

It's not head,

I'm stressed yes I know,

I'm drained and that's ok,

We all over-worry 

Today and tomorrow. 

Playing with the clouds, 

Staring into the dark,

Counting the stars in the

Huge blanket above,

I'm crazy yes I know,

I'm playful and that's ok,

We're all a little too sincere 

Every now and again. 

Don't change,

Don't move,

Just groove

Through the day and night

It comes and goes

As lives do

End and begin 

Over and over

Over and over,

Over and over.       

Rhyme with Reason

Chains

Trap me in the rain, 

I've nothing to gain, 

By riding this endless train, 

Going hopelessly insane, 

Dwelling in my own pain,

Letting my emotions drain, 

In the Mary Jane, 

Trying to feign, 

Looking sane, 

Although it's all in vein. 

Pour Liquid Acid On My Face

Feather me up,

Let me know,

Lead me on like a pup, 

Then leave me feeling like Edgar Allen Poe,

Miserable and alone, 

Looking for a place to call home. 

Traveling along, 

Your sick mind,

And you wonder why something's always wrong,

Maybe one day you'll find,

It's you not me,

Maybe one day you'll see. 

I loved you, 

I fell far below the ridges, 

With your woo,

Frozen by the fridge's,

Cold liquor rush,

Thanks to a stupid crush.

I tried to loose your sorry self,

But somehow you kept coming back,

Never a good tacit for one's health,

When it's love you lack,

I see this day's life going nowhere, 

Where no one's there to care. 

Lily Along

     I've made many a mistake in  my lifetime. 

     I've done many stupid things, made terrible decisions, and been in pretty little pickles one too many times. I suppose mistakes and I go hand in hand, they've always been a part of my life, because I am one of those people that learn the hard way. But even though there are many situations I wish I could change, I wouldn't now. Those tough times, the hard patches, the morning after mistakes have made me into the woman I am becoming, and I like to think I'm stronger, more accepting and empathetic because of it. Shit happens. Accept it. Embrace it. Run with it. For if you do not, you will surely be your own demise. 

Care Free

Bongo drums thumping, 

Hips bumping 

To the sound

And the electrical feeling. 

Swing and sway

Swig and chug

No misconceptions

No wondering why

Just moving

Grooving

And bodily smooth'n. 

Don't worry ,

Be happy,

And laugh your days away. 

Logically Artificial

Logic and Reason

Give no rhyme to 

The seasons

Of time rushing by

There is comfort in

The imagination of things

Of how they should be 

Of how they are wanted to be,

A battle of real and fake

Leave precious minds to bake;

Keep on moving

Through right and wrong

Finding morals in poems sung

Season to season 

Waiting for happiness to wrap

Around reality. 

Fatso

Stale in gluttony, 

Rounded and rimmed

In chocolate, 

Ripening with every bite, 

Delicious and non-nutritious,

Floating in the sea,

Now sinking, 

On the way down 

I notice the nastiness

Inside of me and 

In an instance, 

It's rehashed into the ocean

And I float once more

On top of the pinkish- brown sea.     

Rain

The rain taps against my window,

Telling me it's o.k. to cry.

I watch God's tears pour down

Strong and hurt,

His pain keeps the earth alive,

His heartache keeps the world green,

But His tears keep me sane. 

The Winners

Inside my mind

I can't take it

All alone

Fighting this war

With reason and logic

Against a hail of wrong

The victor stands proud

Laughing at his

Enemy, shriveled into pieces

Across the battlefield.

Wrong has won again. 

Make no mistake, 

He rules the world.