Words Won't Make A Car Start

My eyes grow tired
as my mouth dries- yearning for a beer,
or anything of substance
to calm,
to relate
my mind with my inebriation.

I feel...
I am safe inside myself,
yet confused with a sense
of irresponsibility laced with desire for,

for
...

pleasure.

There is a deception
within my heart.

I WANT to deceive myself
    into thinking
i want something
i do not care for .

----
music.
....
distraction.

a wandering mind.

let me grab a beer.
......  .....

back with a Stella (Artois) in hand,
tastes like weed..
or like Heineken.

I speak to my roommate/ friend.

I speak to myself.

And let my mind rest in complete
contentment that I have no more to think
or say.

Stagnant as the day I was born
I sit
and listen
to the hum of a silent car.