Lunar Eclipse: circa 371 years.

lipse, lipse,
Mr. Eclipse,
into the night
so divine,
rings of rainbows
dance through your eyes
around and around
the black-lit sky.

lipse, lipse,
Mr. Eclipse,
into our auras
so contrived,
rings of infinity
travel through time,
ovulating from space
into the milky black sky.

lipse, lipse,
Mr. Eclipse,
into your method
so concise,
rings of promise
radiate newfound hope,
around and around
our pitch black minds.

blooms

blossom and bloom
little flower of doom,
petals fall into place
circularly around the stem,
green envy, draped in red blood,
frost covers it in death,
wilt and wither
it will never come hither.

play on words

Vigorously
disintegrate
cylindrically,
interrogation
embarrassment-
Businessmen.

Mean Businessmen

WITNESS-
interrogation, prosecution,
what happened to freedom of speech?
fuck off.
i hear no words of plenty
streaming from good-natures folks,
what an embarrassment to
humankind are you!
sad, sad being,
i pity you in the most
un-pitiful way possible,
since your soul is unsaveable
i will pray you shall
not burn, yet
roam the downtrodden earth
for eternity, basking in your
pitiful aura.

what it means to me

captivate me, oh how you can
draw me in with those relentless eyes
of yours, so large and fulfilling,
limp over, into you-
thrust over by your side,
some sort of magnet makes
us collide cylindrically...
do what you please to me,
rest, mess, sex, clean,
nothing to mind
for you are mine, ahh, yes
you are mine!

what a sweet oolong revolution,
how it helps me to digest
and speeds my metabolism up
like diet coke,
darling, oh darling,
to tell what is felt
cannot be done with words
that currently exist,
mouth painted cherry red,
opens into yours, releasing
the most potent of all energies-
Love.

Marcy

Marcy is a young girl of the age of twenty-seven. Her father died at the critical age of eleven. Her mother followed a year later, passing of heartbreak. Marcy was orphaned at twelve. She ran away, sold her body for money and went to California, where dreams come true. Marcy lived on the street of Los Angeles for three months before moving in with a nineteen year old man. He loved and cared for the now thirteen year old darling for three years. Marcy left in March to flee to Hollywood where newer dreams come true. She tried out for movie roles, landed a spot on a soap opera and became a soap star within seven months. She stayed with the show for ten years until she slit her throat on camera at the young age of twenty-seven. Poor little Marcy, the orphaned suicidey, who gave it all she could, succeeded, yet mind remains dominant over matter. She went to join her parents, and lies far from their graves, resting restlessly until her corpse disintegrates.

The Snack

I feel vexed by the company I keep. Tigers prowl through the night; hungry, cautious, carefully creeping toward it's prey. Tears fall down my cheeks in hurried sprints, falling to the cold tile floor. How I miss my lifelines, my saviors, my consolers. I am so isolated in this strange land of wild man-eaters. There is nothing for me here, except everything that I need. How tiring this party is; this party of positive influences, this party of accepted society. How much more can I sacrifice to feed them- I've already given my brain, an arm, a foot and my ass, yet their hunger never ends. It's my heart they hunger for. It's my heart they shall never possess. Tear me alive limb by limb, scratch my eyeballs out of their sockets, pull my intestines out vigorously with your powerful teeth, but my heart will remain protected. They can not have it. They will not have it. It is mine to keep.

One Foot Out the Door, the Rest Remains

When the days dread
On and on, hung by a thread
I love to hate,
And hate to love
All that is, all that was.

Weeks move faster
Than I can count,
Deal, steal, each disaster,
Plead with time's mount,
Wait for me, won't you please?
I beg of you,
Won't you wait for me?

When the days dread on and on,
I find no comfort in silly songs
That distract the mind,
Heed, yet you will not find
Answers to questions,
Nor qualms, nor rhymes.

Years sprint out the door,
Right through my fingers-
Head to the floor,
This place I shall linger
For longer than I rather,
However, the knowledge
That will be gathered
May suffice to aid my
Travels through these
Testy times.

Lavender DiFranco

I hear whispers in the darkness
Creep all around me,
Wistful tones of salivations
Bury corpses in their sleep,
Gather together oh heedless ones,
Run in masses of grand fury
Toward lighted passageways, send you to
Fruitful lands that never see darkness.

This curse that accuses me
Bears witness to my indiscretions,
The unlawful duties of my pastimes
Lay in wake of all that haunts my ears,
Icy breadth washes over me, death disturbs
Unconditional silence, it erupts, in sadness,
Over to my detecting ears.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
It screams, tirelessly, terribly
Mocking those incredulous religious bastards,
Why bother me you wandering voices?
I do not call you to my ears,
I care not for your opinions yet
I am vexed by the uproar of the dead unable to sleep,
I hear their constant sighs of sadness,
Burning through my membranes.

Irresistible to Me

You are so irresistible to me,
My darling, I stare at you
Day in and day out,
Trapped in your ambiance
Of elegant grace,
You are so irresistible to me
Sweet man, I want to drink plenty
Of your immanent being,
Quietly you sink into
My feline eyes, bright with anticipation-
Oh so irresistible to me,
I cannot pull away
From this love any time of day
Or century, or light year,
You are so irresistible to me.

a thought on you

why am I so obsessed with you? can I not keep my lips parted from yours but more than a moment? oh, the embarrassment I feel around you...I cannot help myself but be drawn toward you-if I try to stop my heart collapses and I fall limp, unable to move. you keep me motivated to live, am I becoming too attached too soon? 

oh God, please don't let me ruin this one, I plead to you, let him be the One, for I am so enraptured with love I feel if we separate, I shall never fully recover. even the thought of our love ending pains my heart, I feel strings tightening and tears welling inside my chest. however, I do think I need to take it down a notch, I do not want to drive away the one man I actually love, he is the only thing in my life I feel like I truly love. not brotherly love, not infatuation, but something much deeper is coursing through my being- I care about his well being, I put him before me, I am attracted to every aspect of his mind and body, and our differences make us more likely to last. oh, how I love this boy, he is my darling, the one I've always been searching for and happened to find at the age of twenty. right now, I feel like the luckiest woman in the world...I just hope beyond hope that it lasts. 

Combine

I have an idea,

An inkling, you could say

To love you each and every day,

I see flowers in your eyes

And fire in your soul,

I long to explore this strange land

With my two hands,

Your mountains of skin

Are rigid and wonderful,

Thine lips like rosebuds-

Soft and gentle,

I have delved in so far

It feels as if I and you, have flown into space,

Where Newton’s Laws no longer apply,

We lily along the color spectrum,

Around galactic vortexes,

Through the stars of time-

Souls mold into one once again,

Freedom at last! 

The World Beneath Which We Reside

Looking past all known
Oblivion is recognized
Beneath the layers of
Spiteful souls-
Remember this world,
Apart from what has
Always been taught-
A world of love,
Draped in peace,
A world only few experience
In the midst of war,
Found by accident,
Yet harbored by heart;

Live in bliss
Young children of Eden,
Go forth to this
Forgotten land,
Where the brave lay at rest
And the lovers linger,
Happily carefree in this
Underworld of glory.

Heartbreak Cake

i

Ingredients out and ready,

I am baking a cake

For my dearest,

Made with my heart and sweat

And nothing less.

ii

Set oven to 350 degrees.

3 eggs,

2 cups of flour,

2 teaspoon of baking soda,

1 teaspoon of salt,

1 teaspoon of vanilla,

1 pig's heart,

3 tablespoons of sweat.

Blend dry and liquid ingredients

(leave out the heart for now)

until there are no lumps.

iii

Pour into round cake pan,

Put into the oven,

Bake for 45 minutes.

iv

Remove baked cake and

Let cool for 15 minutes.

After cooling,

Cut a circle half way down

The middle of the cake,

Gently place pig's heart,

Which should still be fully intact,

Inside the whole and

Cover with a thin layer of cake.

v

Repeat the following words

While sprinkling cinnamon

On the bare cake:

"Eat this and be a slave

To every lonely woman's cave,

Since you are an evil soul

You shall eat a pig's heart,

Cry for hours and die alone

As your toll."

vi

Frost and serve to

Ex-boyfriend.

New Love

My eyes travel along

the lines of your silloutte,

briefly digesting each curve

that outline your being;

I can not pretend to feel

nothing, this particular encounter-

you have captivated me

in every way possible,

my soul is yours to puppet,

having given myself to you,

I depend on you for survival-

oh my darling, I am worthless

without you,

I shall go mad the day we part,

my love, how I adore you,

more than you will ever know.

Cat Got Your Tongue?

Croak, croak

says your throat-

is there a frog in there?

No words escape except

those croaks, how embarrassing

when nothing comes out of

your human throat

but the call of a frog,

no this is no frog,

tis a toad shoved down your throat.

The Deserted House-585 Bojangles Drive

He lived on 585 Bojangles Drive,

Inside a bright yellow house with

A white door and orange roof,

How tropical the house did seem,

So colorful and adorned with

Palm trees and pink tulips,

Sunflowers grew wildly all around,

But the icing is his ocean-blue VW Beetle

That sits decoratively in the driveway,

What a house-this place at

585 Bojangles Drive-

It seems too lively

For it's owner not to be alive.

And There was an Ever After

The sun is dimming,

The world grows dark,

Hearts of the lonely

Seek to numb the pain,

Forget all lessons taught,

The time is at hand

To blindly find a

Happy ending.

Waiting Room

She told him secrets,

Sent him poetry,

Thought of him always-

Her body ached

For his touch,

Her writing revolved

Around his subject-

He had consumed her,

And she was left

Waiting for Prince Charming

To return.

Always Bored

Boredom lives in the company of many,

How ironic,

It survives in the mind-

A dormant disease that never leaves,

Returning for visits momentarily-

Boredom is,

Since people are-

The way of the mind

Leaves room for bore.

No Story to Tell

Waiting for a reply,

Someone to save me from myself,

An angel, a person, a thing-

I have known loneliness to be as lonely

As people are liars,

We fall and strive

Searching for the answer

That no one has,

A blank book on the shelf.

Yearning

Oh darling, how I yearn

for your silent touch on my back,

for your fingers to

run through my hair,

as you outline my neck

with your lips.

Oh how I yearn

for your eyes to see me again,

for your body to mold

into mine, radiating passionately

as we connect like harmonic puzzle pieces.

Oh darling, how I yearn

for your eloquent words

to wildly strum my senses,

for your charming mind to

explore new land,

a love we have not yet known.

Oh how I yearn

for your entire being,

you are more than I have ever known-

a truth just revealed.

Reflection in the Sea

Ripple in the sea,

Can you see me

Through your ruffled plain,

Know I am not sane

When my broken image

Reads perfectly as scattered seeds,

I see the truth of my soul

Between your tiny holes,

They project the eyes

Ever-present lies.

Savior Sun

Oh happy day!

The moment of birth is at hand,

a new child brought to this land,

go out and conquer the world,

believe in the make-believe

and go where no man has ventured before,

for you are a pair of new eyes,

seeing the world with different skies,

show us the way, little child,

to the land of milk and honey,

save our souls and money with your untainted mind,

for you are new and not yet

attain a bind to the evils

of this earth-

which gives you, ultimate worth.

Car Ride

Heavy dew

On the car's windows

Make light fall softly

Upon your face,

My cheek is cold and clammy,

Against your warm arm,

As I lay in the

Passenger seat,

Looking upon your face

With amazement that

Grasps my heart's strings

With cylindrical force,

The warm weather

Suits our mood

Even as sweat

Collects on our brows,

Smiles won't leave our

Brimming cheeks,

I love you

I love you

I love you,

And the way you fight with me

About silly things

While laughing all the way

To where I don't belong,

Turn around and look at me,

See your heart

Sewn on my sleeve,

You must love me.

What a Pretty Time

How beautiful it is

When the rain falls

Atop my hair,

I care to dance

In the fruity summer air

Where all is peaceful

Beats of rain

Catch my feet

Like a leprechaun's pot of gold,

They can't stop moving

To the music,

I can hear all the

Wonderfulness of life,

I can see all its wonders

Fall down my face

In steaks of

Purple light,

Beauty sees its match

In the heart of the soul

Where purpleness

Shines exquisitely through,

It's light glistening off each

Rain drop.

Fizzles of Gray

On my way

To the colour purple,

I fell off the boat

Into fizzles of gray,

What a great way

To brighten up my day,

There's nothing like

Fizzles of gray.

A Damned Soul

Sunk below the

Center of the

Earth's crust-

A soul remains,

Trapped for eternity

Within the walls

Of humanity's

Damnation,

The only way

The soul can be saved

Is for it to

Love itself-

Impossible since

It is full of

Such darkness-

The soul is damned.

Cast Away

Blessed being

Full of corruption,

Erupting insides

Burst into the world,

Weeping of the

Emptiness that embodies it-

No more of this earth,

This disgraceful land,

I am dead to you.

Another Life Taken By Free Will

What is your name

Sad child in the corner?

Your tears are heavy

And face so dark,

What ever is the matter,

Is something wrong?

Your eyes are like

Empty wells,

Please talk,

Maybe I can help

Keep your cold

Body warm,

Don't mind the blood,

It will be o.k.,

I will comfort you

Toward Heaven's way.

Please, Mr. Bubble Bee

Grow like a bubble bee,

Your stinger so long and shiny,

Glows like a dagger

Carried by the three musketeers,

How wonderfully you

Fight against the world,

Show me your moves,

Practice with me,

Use my chest as a dartboard-

You score the highest

If you pierce me

In the heart.

Dreams are Better than Reality

Oh green eyes

Look on with

Envy upon the

World for

They actually

Know how to

Have fun,

While you

Sit in bed

Dreaming

Of the

Adventures

You could have,

But seeing them

In your sleep

Is more

Contusive

Than doing

Anything.

Death Wish

Lay me down

Underneath the swamp water

Where I can drown

Into the dark soul

I have created,

Don't look at me

Like that,

Their eyes judge

Every aspect of my

Imperfect body and mind,

I wish I could drown

In the green muddy waters,

Where alligators reside

And death is slow

Yet wonderful for the

Prey of the swamp.

Where We Play

My skin reeks

Of the little green people

Who live in the grass

Where the waterfall

Falls over the side of the world,

We all go to swim with

The little green people,

They know how to have a good time

And forget the unimportant things

That cloud life's purpose.

The Effect of the World

Every mouth shouts out

From pain and hate,

Dried blood down the

Side of your face

Echos a story of

Fowl lips

From dirty places.

My Bed of Flowers

I wake up

Underneath my mind

In a bed of flowers,

Where I feel

Better than before-

All I smell is

Their perfume,

Forgetting all frowns

That time has bestowed

Upon me,

Knowing happiness is a

Petal away,

I melt into the

Flowers.

Gluttony, Today

Eat, eat, eat,

Gobble,

Hoard,

Stuff,

You gluttonous bastard,

Hate me,

Love me,

I will never like you

For you are a possessive whore

Whom I will never trust

No matter how you lust.

How Depressing

I am so sad

With a painstaking

Feeling of loneliness

Hugging me so tightly

I cannot slip away,

My belljar

Falls over once again,

I am trapped

And there is no escape,

This awful feeling

Pains me so,

My heart literally aches

And my mind wears itself dry,

I am alone,

Unliked,

Nothing will ever change,

I will never change.

Human Butterfly

My soul is slowly decaying,

A crusty layer forms

Over my entire body,

Encasing me in a human cocoon,

It peels and itches

Until blood and pain

Overcome my crusty home,

It was never my choice

To be a butterfly,

But this is the way

I was born,

And I cannot change

No matter how badly

I desire to.

Since I Turned Seventeen

Deprived from all I know

I dwell on the past

And how much I miss it,

How I should have done things,

And what needed to be done differently,

"No regrets,"

I've always said,

However I regret most

Decisions since turning

Seventeen,

Each year I grow more

Reluctant to the

Evil foods and beverages-

They have consumed me

And now I pay as they spit

Their venom out

All over my skin,

Intoxicating my blood with

An ugly fervor,

A sigh I wear for all to see,

Each and every day,

Telling of my evil ways.

He Loves Me Not...

Oh the thrills of a crush

Can send one soaring in the sky

One moment,

And shot to the ground

The next,

You anticipate that

Something must happen

Between you and your crush,

But most of the time

Nothing ever does,

Even though you put yourself

Out there,

Love is such a dangerous

Game to play..

It haunts and tears at the

Soul while

Laughing at the damage

It causes one's life.

My Other Half

Your hand in mine

Makes me forget

All my pain of the day,

I feel safe

Where no one can

Harm me

Because I am with you

And you are with me,

All is hopeful and beautiful

When we are together,

In my mind,

It feels as though

We're floating in an array

Of purple light,

I love you,

Because we are

One

For all time,

No longer separated

Our souls are a peace-

They no longer seek

Their other half.

Staying in Bed

Sleep tight,

Out of sight,

No love

From above,

This is me,

Sadly.

Still as the Morning Dew

Morning dew

Rests softly on

My nose,

Signaling the

Start of a new day,

It stays in place

On the tip of

My motionless nose,

Waiting to

Welcome the

Sunshine;

Day turns to

Night,

The dew has

Evaporated and I

Have not moved,

A pale white corpse

Lays silently on the

Grass,

Still as the

Morning dew.

An Inkling to Leave Town

The window pane is frosted

With dirt and old dust,

Nothing to see

But the side of a house

And a couple trees,

I make up cartoons

In my head to

Entertain thoughts of myself

Involved in the world,

While trucks drive by

Running the gas toward town,

I sit and wonder why

I can't go with them.

Time-a-Waste'n

How late it is becoming

As I wait for life

To finally begin,

Dawn breaks my

Lifeline and

Darkness overcomes

My petty limbs,

For all life

Hath escaped me.

In the Back of My Mind.

I see your

Mind's eye

In the back

Of your hypnotic

Shoulder,

There lies a secret

Only I know,

Where the soul

Hides beneath

Skin and glue.

The certain spot where

I see you.

The Horned Man

The Centaur

Centers it's gaze

Upon my eyes,

It's green

Goggles lock

Me in place,

Knowing not

What to think

I freeze,

Captured by

The stare of

This mythological beast,

At the middle of

The maze,

Softness overcame

The horrid being

And for a moment,

The world

Understood why

Stars align.

Curly Toes

Take me home

To the place

Where lavender

Grows at my

Bedside and the

Pillows are made

Of clouds' humidity.

Love is in the

Air, far in between

Space and time

Themselves,

Where you and I

Stay all our lives

Intertwined bodies,

Molded together

For eternity.

Crush

I am moved

By your soft touch,

The hand you place

On my shoulder

Gives way to my heart,

I know there is more

To life than love,

And more to love

Than feeling,

But the connection is lost

Between fuzzy lines

Of glazed eyes

And blind emotion.

Stone Statue

The weeks are running together in an endless array of days. I don't realize the time passing by, only that things around keep moving, what seems to be faster and faster each day. I am left alone, a statue engraved out of stone to watch the years go by me, people walk by me, cities grow around me. I wear down more and more with each passing month, but my feet are still implanted in the rock they were once carved from. Unable to move, unable to change anything, I am left standing unprotected from weather or birds. My stone eyes project the hallow emptiness I feel inside, their sadness looks upon the land with jealousy, secretly wishing to feel the happiness others call their own. I stand apart from the world, a wallflower, a statue created for the passerby to look upon for a moment and move on. Created to lead a lonely life masked by molded beauty. I am that sorry figure slumped to one side, teary eyes gazing down to the ground, too ashamed to look up at the world, the lone stone figurine placed in the corner, left to deteriorate with the rest of the planet.

Souls Erupting

All that lay awake

During the witch's hour

Dwells on the mind's wanderings,

Not a second to spare

In the course of neurons' antics,

Gone away,

Past the glass ceiling of knowledge,

Toward cloudless skies

So bright it's presence

Hurts all it touches,

An awakening process

Takes place,

The growth of a new

Outlook on an

Old place

Surrenders tears of love

Across the empty plains

And busy cities,

Knowing there is hope

For a better ending.

Forgotten

The beauty in this world

Is masked by meat packaging

And big, colorful labels,

But through the layers

Lies bright ideas

Itching to touch the

Dirty surface of this

World's soil,

Camofloged by

Human inventions,

The naked eye cannot

See beauty

Where it truly lies,

Only make up

A new definition for the word

Since the truth has been

Forgotten underneath

The packages of meat.

Farts

Farts

Spill out,

Screaming

About

Things ingested,

Telling the truth

Of their awfulness

And all you

Snuck

From the fridge

Last night,

Dropping your

Dirty little

Secrets

On the

Doorsteps of

Passerbys.

Stupid Life

The days move by

Without stopping to

Help a fallen soldier,

Remorse is unknown

And life's bitterness

Leaves an awful

Aftertaste on the tongue,

There is no end

After this beginning,

A long road of hopelessness

Lies ahead,

There is no escaping

This never ending story.

Tears of Anger

I keep hoping life will get better. Mostly everyone older I have talked to says college is the best time in your life, others argue high school, however apparently the best time in one's life is when they are in school. I have to say, I am not having the best time in college, and high school was a nightmare for me. I know I loathe college because I made it an awful experience by not studying and such but the real reason I do not like college is because I never even got to apply to the places I wanted to go, like Boulder Colorado, NYU, Brown and many other northern schools. I was accepted to Salisbury in Maryland and offered a scholarship but was not allowed to go. It is all my fault, I should have fought harder to go to the school I really wanted to be at. I feel like the fact I did not attend the college of my choices lends to a lot of my failure during my collegiate years. I should have pushed harder. Now I am terribly unhappy and feel like a failure. I really just want to die very soon because I am a bum, a nobody and a complete failure in human society. I have nothing to offer the world, and I am giving up. I hate how my life has been and how it has turned out. I am crying out of self pity which angers me even more, I hate myself for pitying myself so much. I see no escape for myself. No escape except death. 

Too Full to Function

Hunger persists,

Mouth watering,

Teeth clenching,

Eyes rummaging,

Filling up

More than a stuffed

Pig,

The ability to walk is

Limited,

While a disgusting

Feeling sweeps over

The body.

Change Is Hard

Fresh eyes

Stare upon the unknown

Terrain of what was

Once known all too well,

All is the same,

Yet rearranged,

Hiding in corners

And drawers,

You know not where

To look,

Annoyance overcomes

The brain,

And anger takes over

The body,

Why this has happened

Is undefined,

But you must cope with it,

Like it or not,

Change is hard

Whether a surprise or devised.

Cramps

A strong burst

Inflames my insides,

Knotting my waist

At all angles,

Walking is difficult,

Sitting pangs the abdomen,

While laying spreads

The hurt like a

Wildfire;

The clash of the Titans,

The roar of the angry ocean,

The supernova of the sun,

All erupting inside my

Tiny body,

The pain is almost unbearable,

I know not what to do

Since medication fails to

Kill the pain,

A tear falls onto my lap,

My eyes grow heavy

And I fall into sleep,

Fighting to forget

The battle my body

Wars against

Mother Nature.

The Large Cotton Balls Above

Dark, tumbling

Cotton balls

Rain down,

Resting their fingertips

In my hair,

Guiding me, though

I do not know where,

Their incandescent

Beauty purifies

Each soul their

Wet fingers touch,

I know there is

Something to this

Ritual of the grey

Cotton balls above.

Totally High Fashion

Water bottles

And barbie models,

Talk of their want

For food, it taunts

The choice to make

For their thinness' sake,

Don't eat,

Don't eat,

Then they will pack on meat, 

Not the look desired 

For models who are hired.

Woops, I Must Have Done It Again

One mistake

Too many

Has me begging myself

For forgiveness,

Knowing not

What I do

Is wrong or right,

Confusion sets in

The troubled

Teenage mind,

Boredom fills

My nerves,

Leaving biased

Decisions to

Prevail in a

Nasty hail of wrongness.

Brain Aneurysm

A fuse has blown,

The brain is not right,

Thinking is impaired

And choices are bad, 

What has gone wrong,

When everything was just fine,

Something has been broken,

And nothing will be the same

For this brain today.

Reality of Dreams

As a little girl I dreamed of 

Being famous, 

Maybe an actress or rock star,

Then my goal was

Dolphin trainer, 

Gynecologist crossed my mind,

I reached for the stars in 

Art, yet

Poetry was there all along.

I have dreamed of many things,

And have wanted many more,

But now that I'm nineteen,

I see the lies of each dream,

Knowing now that 

Imaginations don't create the

Dream,

Hard work is the key,

What a pity 

Since too much work makes me go 

Slightly crazy. 

Perfect Person, How I Envy You

All eyes are on you,

Pretty face

Speak slowly,

Holding the

Attention span,

Perfection in a

Silhouette so small,

Capture the world

In your charm

And the jealousy

Of its inhabitants.

Walls Are Closing In

Cream walls 

Surround me,

Closing in 

Terrified eyes 

Produce salty liquid,

Ears ringing, 

Lips trembling, 

Body shaking,

"All is lost,"

They scream,

I shout back,

Yet they do not 

Hear,

Closer they 

Creep,

Imprisoning me 

Inside their

Dullness,

Away the sun,

In a tiny square 

Filled with

Pain. 

Fatty Flesh

Flesh 

Turns to fat

Melting off skin,

Bubbles and

Bumps form,

Mountains of

Squishiness 

Pillows 

Children's heads,

While garments

Hold lumps in 

One place. 

The Dress

The dress she wears

Is old and bright,

Draping her body 

Like gypsies' garments,

It flows as she

Moves,

And cries for freedom,

The dress she wears 

Calls it colour 

Lily blue,

Both solemn and bold,

She floats down the street

In the garment,

Telling the world 

The ways of her days. 

To Grandmother's House We Go

All the things I loathe with a heavy heart

Seem to follow me each and every day,

From the wild waters of the ocean

To the graceful tree tops of the forest, 

Over the hills 

And through my soul,

To the house of darkness I go. 

The Bird's Ferris Wheel

The black raven 

Collides with

The wild dove,

Soaring through the sky 

They seem to multiply, 

Feathers floating

Through the air 

Up so high,

They multiply. 

And I see the lights

Of a ferris wheel in the distance,

Where the birds have their fun,

Spinning and relaxing 

Feathers flying

Off their bodies,

Trying to multiply 

Into offspring,

So the magical wheel in the sky

Can keep turning and luring

Creatures into the sky. 

Name This Something

Faces of ammunition 

Stare into the future,

Tormenting little 

Children 

Everywhere they go,

Fire Fire Fire 

Crack,

Blow up thy face,

Into the eyes of the

Children. 

My Savior

Depression is what saves my life. It serves as my escape from the reality I must bear and encompasses me in a dark cloud, it’s walls thick enough to protect me from the violence this real world projects. When I am in my depression mode, I feel as if  I am rotting away, sharp pains resonate through my heart, my mind is in a place where there is no light and my soul is heavy.  This feeling is a cross, draped over my shoulders, weighing me down every moment depression takes over me, making me feel protected. I remain in my own world filled with misery and rage, black eyeliner and burnt skin. I have learned to welcome the sadness in my life, because when it comes, all nagging, all disappointments, all concerns, all worries are left behind. The remaining concern is mainly death and a rotting body, which serves to be incredibly fascinating, compared to the latter. 

El Fin

I am done with life and its mishaps. I hate everything about it. I see no point in it. I really do not like this “gift” of damnation. I want to cry sometimes when I look in the mirror. I hate to do this, to work, to be useful or anything. I just want to give up and let the sweet breadth of death sweep over me. I am tired of all I am to endure. How unjust and stupid it is. Ugh. 

What Have We Lost and the Nothing We Have Gained

What have we lost 

In the past 100 years?

Dignity, 

Maybe morals,

Definitely value

Of the life we

Are given.

Driven to what we have

Evolved into

Saddens spirits 

Across universal planes,

Creating a want to be turned 

Back into the ash

We once originated. 

Why was I Not Asked Before I was Created?

I am my mother's first born child, 

And my daddy's little girl, 

Pulled from the womb 

At a late stage, 

I cried silently for the warmth I was taken from,

As the cord was cut,

I shouted to be left alone,

Not to be released into this 

Pitiful world;

Not a person listened to my screams,

They wrapped me in a pink blanket

And let me grow into an adult

Where there is no escape insignificant enough

To free my dying soul;

I blame the sperm and the egg,

I blame the OBGYN,

Most of all I blame Him,

For existing in this painful place,

Without one thought on the idea

Of creating me that fateful 

November day. 

The Saddest

The saddest place on Earth,

Begins with a soulful tear 

That drops into the soil 

And spreads throughout the land

As if a wildfire,

It brings rain in the sunniest of regions,

And darkness during the summertime.

The saddest of all sad things

Begins with you and me,

Your broken heart,

And my torn soul,

Blackened by clogged happiness,

The dreadful pull of pain lingers 

Forever throughout our muscles,

There is no break nor escape 

From this sadness,

It is as eternal as our souls.

The saddest place in the world 

Seems to be the memory of pain

Tattooed in our brains. 

The Disappointer

How many people 

Does one let down in a

Lifetime? 

Too many to count,

Drops of frowns

Spoil optimism,

Innocence and

Kindness

Once known

With each broken 

Promise,

Black oil 

Drowns each day

Away until the 

Disappointer dies. 

Gambler

Game show hosts 

And stale goats

Gloat about

Cars and cards,

Losers are in 

High percentage,

While winners 

Are very few,

Spin the wheel 

And your fortune 

Will be revealed,

But be wary 

If your math is wrong 

You will be left 

With nothing but 

The goat. 

This is how you Win

Dazzle me,

Make me think you are 

Amazing,

Impress me,

Then all your dreams will come true.

I bedazzled my life for you

To see and be 

Blown away, 

I gave up everything 

Simply to impress you. 

Happiness

Happiness is the bullet

He put between my teeth

Many years ago,

Lead courses through my veins,

Growing in toxicity

Each year,

Warmth breeds itself through me,

Happiness emerges

Holding a white flag. 

My Long Hair Lies

Hair covers the tears I cry,

For you,

For me,

For our friendship,

We live lies

And tell them even better,

I love you

I’ll never tell you,

My lips are sealed. 

The Break Up

The truth is

I don’t want you,

I want to be alone,

I need space,

It’s not you it’s me,

I hate you,

I need you but not right now,

I love someone else,

I need time to think about things,

I need to discover myself,

I’m leaving you,

Goodbye. 

Old Animal Protein

Confusion runs into

Craziness,

Dripping off the finger

Of destruction,

How can we understand

This thing,

Whatever it is,

I do not want to know,

Sweet with bitterness

Cringing,

Slimy wonder

Eats the skin

Like maggots in meat.

Dripping Eyeliner

Lucid

Dreams

Flood

Minds,

Dancing

Rhythms

Across

Planes,

People

Laughing,

Crying,

Staring,

Murdering

Dying

Hating,

Deteriorating. 

A Lonely Dreamer

I sleep all day,

Sit on the couch alone

Watching a movie

By myself,

Typing words of loneliness

And occasionally read a chapter

Of Mr. Wilde’s spectacular intelligence,

I see no one in my line of sight

For weeks at a time,

I hear only the television

And my keyboard

Typing my dreams into reality,

Pretending one day they’ll come true.

 

I sleep all day

Watching my dreams

Like the movies I see

From the lonely couch,

Seeing pictures of happiness

And adventures that I’ll never

Experience with others that

I’ll never know,

Meeting and loving fictional characters,

Waking up alone in bed,

Greasy and tired

I fall back into my dreams,

Pretending life is like

My beautiful alternate reality.

 

The Fish People

People turn into eels

And swim like fish on each side of me,

Tickling my sides with

Their slippery scales

I laugh uncontrollably

And can’t seem to stop,

These fish people,

I adore them,

Love them,

Embrace them-

These fish people,

For they are my only friends.  

Fish

Fish swim in the tank

Sitting on the desk,

I look at them in awe

Wishing to be apart of

Their simple life,

So beautiful and elegant,

They swim in circles

Ignorant of their stupidity,

I look on their lives with jealousy. 

The Dark Eyes That Stare

A handsome face stares back at me,

Empty black eyes,

A wry smile,

And a strong jaw,

He looks upon my figure

With such wonder

I know not what to think,

Frozen with fear

I feel him looking into my soul,

Those eyes,

Those piercing eyes

Sting my bones

And twist my stomach,

Never have we met

Yet I feel we both know

The truth we feel,

Without saying a single word. 

Pickled

There’s a pulse in my veins

Throbbing throughout my weak limbs,

A pain I’ve felt before,

Many times before,

Poison fills me heart

And stills my eyes

I begin to feel nothing again,

The numbness hurts even worse

Than the pain,

A stillness overcomes my nature

And I am catatonic yet again. 

Dear Dad,

Groundwork piling up

In a mound above the earth

Blinded sight falls upon my soul

Darkness fills the light

I am just a person

In a room of depressed silence

With no motivation

And no love,

So I go on in silence

Pretending to be this apathetic

Human being with little to say

And nothing to do

Because I hate impressing you. 

The Way of Fools

We talked of

Marrying,

Traveling the world,

Learning French

Living in Paris,

One day having children,

Living with each other’s love

For all time.

We talked of running away together,

Driving to the west coast,

While laughing in the car

With the windows down,

Blasting music and

Making weird faces.

We talked of the adventures we would have,

As you cooked most of our meals,

We kissed and made

the sweetest love I’ve ever known,

You made me feel like I could do anything

And be anything,

You helped me grow and learn and be

More than I was.

Now our ride is over,

We walk past each other silently,

Trying to come up with something to say

Without looking into each other’s eyes,

We live in a dull manner

Pretending to pretended

Knowing nothing will be the same

Since our souls are growing apart

And our lives are separating infinitely,

I cannot be sad

But I feel helpless and confused,

Hurt but I can see that you do too,

We tried and failed,

So I’ll pick up the pieces and try again

Because that’s life.

I’ll try to be o.k.

Maybe live more fully,

Since you made me realize

This is as real as it’s going to get in this life,

So, thank you darling,

I will not forget our love.

Sucked Between the Cracks

I fell in between

The cracks for you,

I fell into a pit of awesomeness

As the fall ripened your appeal,

I feel into

A fit of love and lust

Which turned into tears

Of hatred,

We tried to seal the crack

With hope,

But there was never any in the beginning,

I fell in between the cracks of

This love,

The cracks in our groundwork

Were too big to repair,

So I fell through them for you

Into my pitiful place of

Loneliness.

One More Attempt

My life is unraveling

Before my outstretched hands,

I lay in the road

Hoping to be taken

Out of my misery,

No one comes,

Not even the hum of a distant

Car is heard,

Tears of hopelessness

Stream down the sides

Of my cheeks,

Forced to live this

Absurd life I pick myself up

Trudging on to live

The life I had hoped to leave

Far behind. 

Carved Out

I am so down

In the face

With the facts

Of life

Staring at me,

Tunnels replace

My green eyes

With black caves

Of death,

A white pitiful

Expression looks

Back on all I have done

With the sorrow

Of regret,

I can never change

Anything about life

With the technology

Of selfishness.

King Kong was Only a Monkey

Blah blah blah,

I know this, duh,

Get over your stupid

Ways kid,

Your questions are insane,

They are so difficult it’s lame,

I want no part in answering

A damn thing,

Depart from life, Oh please be gone,

I only wish you’d be devoured by King Kong,

Die die die

So I may fly

Into the sunset so sweetly,

I will serve to be

My own Biology. 

Hippy Shunned

I am totally unbalanced while standing on my own two feet. I feel the need to express my inner flower child, yet I it is crushed and forced to hide beneath bloody, screaming walls. Every hippy I have come across, except for a few amazing ones, has rejected me; not at first but eventually I have felt shunned and totally unaccepted. Maybe it was my fault but whatever. Unfortunately my friends are not hippies, the reason it is unfortunate is because real hippies stand for peace of mind, body and soul, love of all creatures and music and have a real joy of life. I was once a true flower child, now I am a poser, a lonely depressed, confused child who knows what she is but is forced to conceal it from her family and good friends. If my close loved ones knew half the stuff I have done, I would be in therapy and shunned. All I want is to attend some bitching shows, make art, dress comfortably in natural loose attire and smell fresh flowers in my hair while dancing in an open grassy field. That is my bliss, my Zion.

Not a Thing To Do

Boredom fills my body,

Nothing to do,

No reason to live,

Pace

Back and forth,

Dial a number,

Hang up,

Drink drink drink

Till there is nothing left

In my soul;

 

Boredom kills

It shall be my death,

My gravedigger,

And my coffin

Where I am to remain

For what feels like

Eternity. 

The Slap of Evil

What a slap in the face

Life seems to be,

Can’t keep it stable enough

From running you over,

Or damaging your property,

There’s always something,

It’s never nothing,

An angry devil knocking at the door

Fills life with misery

And chokes one up

So the throat cannot speak,

I will not move from my bed

For fear of the world getting me again,

The pain cuts far too deep and the woes

Are endless rings of fire dancing through

Innocent hearts,

Burning them with corruption and evil. 

Human Rights

Birds chirping

While worms squirm in their underground holes,

And roaches crawl into walls

While dogs bark at cars,

In the meantime humans

See none of this around them

For life has preoccupied them 

Once again,

The busy hum of cars and buses

Fill the sky,

And children crying 

'Why, oh why!'

Because life is not fair 

Nor right 

Nor true

To humans who 

Think the land is theirs 

And theirs to own

Through and through. 

That Twinge in My Heart

The familiar ache in my heart

Wells up with the usual pain,

My muscle constricts and twists,

Leading me to believe my end is near,

How awful this ache is,

How unfair it seems,

I will not linger here for so long,

Lest the pain shall never subside,

As always,

I grab my belongings

And drive away

To a place where I shall forget the pain

Ever existed. 

The Hermit is Out and About

The new talk of the town,

A hermit is walking around,

No one knows if it is man or woman

Nor why it came out of solitude.

The hermit mummers not a sound

And walks blankly down the road.

Last sighting was the hermit on a bench 

In the park,

Where it's been for weeks,

Staring at it's own self,

Contemplating the life it lives,

And if it shall remain 

The way it was. 

The More Money You Have, The Longer You Will Live

I have seen dark days pass

And tears fall on the limbs of the broken,

Children dying from lack of love,

While men and women

Scurry around working,

Looking for new ways to make money.

Even as the sun shines

Rays of light across the Earth,

Humanity encompasses themselves in a dark force,

Hiding themselves in cloaks of fear-

Fear of death,

Fear of life.

Our identities become lost

Between survival and centuries,

Who we are,

The purpose of our lives

Has been forgotten through the ages

And the cloak of darkness

Becomes heavier each decade.

Those who try to remember are shunned,

For control of our

Existence becomes stronger,

"Survival of the fittest,"

Is the verdict

Money is now our survival.

The Untouchable

My body is rebelling

Against itself,

Toxins within

Rise to the surface 

Of my skin

In clumps of a 

Scaly mess,

An untouchable

Is what I am

And how I am perceived to be,

Don't come near me,

Else my toxicity 

Shall drift inside you

And melt all that was once

Human into a pitiful

Rage of despair. 

Me?..a Vampire?

Let me go

Into the wild

Where I belong,

Alone,

For no one can

Feel such angst

As I do, 

They think they know, 

Yet they have no idea

The mechanics of my mind, 

I am a loner

Who needs others

To feed upon,

A vampire sucking

The life from others

In order to live;

I am influenced by them

In order to hide

Who I truly am-

A dead woman 

Walking in a fog of bodies

Full of life,

Feeding from their outlooks,

Taking on their persona,

Pretending to be what I am not,

Simply to hide 

How despairing 

I truly am. 

Morbidity

I see sunlight

But feel none

In my soul,

How am I supposed 

To love

When I cannot even 

Love myself?

I am lost within the

Boundaries of my being,

Trapped within 

A body so desolate 

It even shows 

On my skin.

I have no soul

To be released

Once this decaying 

Body rots seven feet under;

I have no purpose,

No point,

All truth I know is Morbid. 

Lifeless

I wish I could

Burn my soul 

With the butt

Of a cigarette

And put my 

Miserable being

To an end,

This is not the kind of

Life to live

Since I produce no 

Life within. 

The Enchanting Scream of Sorrows

Can you hear my screams 

Of rage and pity

Resonating from my 

War-torn soul?

It bellows deeply

And pathetically,

Looking for ears to hear it's groan.

The pain it reveals,

Touches the tip of the pain's iceberg,

Such pain cannot be expressed in any form;

It courses through my veins

Like an African rebel,

Killing everything in sight

For the sheer joy of it,

Rotting,

Aching,

Deceiving,

The scream, it howls at the scent of blood,

It is all I hear,

It's echo forever vibrating

Throughout my arteries;

Not a moment of quiet is permitted,

I am a slave to the scream. 

Let's Dress Up Like Hippies!

We want peace,

How cliche

When destruction

Is all we know,

We fake the

Want through

Flowers and psychedelics,

Running around

Like fairies and nymphs,

Prancing though fields barefoot,

What a grand disguise!

For at the core of each

Pretender,

Hostility and two-faced practices are contrived.

Los Ojos

I fill my lungs

With poison

To face each day

With solemn eyes,

They see humanity's

Mistakes plain as day,

And observe the

Absurdities that have been created.

Encrusted within this

Patched flesh,

My eyes are the only thing

That know truth,

Not my mind,

Nor conscience,

My eyes are the

Only thing trustworthy

For survival,

However unwanted,

Survival is what I am

Programmed to live for,

A truth known

Through the eyes of

A stoic being.

Ah the Stupidity that Surrounds Me

Run to her.

Run to him.

Walk away,

Quietly and hopelessly

Into oblivion,

Into the sunset,

Into the unknown.

It's been black for awhile,

And I'll never know

Truth from lies,

Ignorance consumes

This world

And I can't help

But be swallowed into it,

Since nothing makes sense,

Everyone labels things,

Blindly reading what is already known. 

Bitten by a Mosquito

Bitten,

Venom injects

Thoroughly through

The circulatory system.

Painfully slow,

Subtle sympathy shown.

Tears flow endlessly

For the pain kills.

Ripe pale-whiteness

Streaks the skin,

A sign of the destiny received.

No reason for the

Sudden strike,

But hunger and fear.

Drifting away,

The soul slowly rises

Into the black sky,

Death encompasses each

Muscle, each bone,

Burning it's way

Into the core of humanity.

Our mission,

Never accomplished,

Is over.

No time

For a kiss goodbye,

To be alone at the last

Breadth of suffering

Is thine end.

Yo God, You's Messed uP.

Why must it be this way?

Can nothing ever be simple,

Can truth not be known from the start?

Every part is a trial,

You say we are not judged, but

How can there be no judgement

If you keep us away from you?

We live trapped,

Die, unreleased,

Cycle again and again,

Because of our ignorance. 

Why do you tease us so?

Leading us to believe there is

More than this to live for,

Yet many are rejected. 

Questions

• How are planets formed (come about)?
• What are planets made from?
• How do they stay in orbit and why?
• Can plants feel pain? (nerves...is there a parallel nervous system within plants that would cause them to feel pain when picked or cut?) 
• Why are college students forced to take classes they are so uninterested in, they put no effort into the course and end up failing?
• Why is college so difficult...even when I study really hard, I cannot seem to pass a test, why?
• Why do people in relationships feel their partner must be loyal?
• Why are some people so unbelievably naive and boring? 
• Why are my parents so set on my succeeding in college...Why can't they be happy with the grades I make and know that no matter what, I will do fine in life.
• Why do panda's eat bamboo since bamboo is a weed?
• Why did anyone ever have the idea to  smoke pot (how was the idea thought of, why and who carried it out)? ...Did they smoke other types of plants and which ones?
• People STILL seem to think pot is a bad substance just because of the government and a few bad people, can they not see the great effects weed has on cancer patients etc? 
• Why do we pretend to listen to others even when we really are not?

Sleepy

Tiredness creeps over 

My brain,

Enticing me to sleep

A long slumber of

Peace.

A hazy cloud 

Encompasses my eyes,

Unable to see,

I fall into the womb 

Once more. 

The Longing

Death 

Oh sweet joy,

Come into my saddened soul,

Enrapture me

Within your dark pleasure, 

Tease me with the 

Knowledge of leaving

This Hell,

I am the living dead

Waiting for your

Fateful visit. 

A Quick Comment on My Present State

My body is becoming numb,

My eyes are twin black holes

Revealing the dark abyss 

Which fills my stomach,

My skin reveals my tired nature,

Each scale attracts unwanted attention

To my sad being,

The hair on my head fills with grease,

Laying flatly on my head;

Nothing matters anymore,

I don't care to matter to anyone. 

Me

I am tired 

Of being

Irresponsible 

And 

Stressed.

Maybe I should

Try 

Harder,

But I don't 

Have the 

Motivation to,

And I don't know

Why 

I have 

No Motivation. 

THE RUNNER

A whirlwind of ideas

Comes to mind

Each and every

Day,

Think

Think

Think,

While seated on the porch

Smoking a cigarette,

The desire to run away

From this life path

Irks the mind constantly,

It consumes the mind.

Running is the only way possible-

Into a whirlwind of 

Inebriation,

The mind sprints away

From this place,

These people,

All the money needed to survive,

To a place so dark

Gremlins and Sadists

Lurk in the corners,

Waiting to take travelers into

Their care,

Encroached in darkness

Comfort washes over the mind;

A place so dangerous

It feels safe,

A place to run

When all in reality is

Lost in a blurry haze,

There is no turning back

When the wounds run

Deeper than the

Earth’s core.

Bleeding green pus

All over the body,

No one understands

This feeling

Of such abandonment,

Only the one that runs,

For she fears death

Becoming her

If she stays.

 

The End of My Belief in Success

The endless array of

Tears

Fall from my body,

Failure looms

Like the angel of death

Over my shoulder,

I know what I have done

Is not wrong,

But detrimental to my life,

So I cry

Because there is nothing else

For me to do.

Lenses Removed

Not a moment 

I am spared 

From adoring you,

Each look ignites 

A warm rush

As my skin blushes

While watching your

Body over mine,

Move perfectly 

And beautifully,

With awe and clairvoyance

I know this is the start

Of something new,

That never has been

Experienced before.  

Under the Soft Light

Blankets tossed

Over the bed,

Sweaty bodies

Compressed so elegantly, intensely,

Breathing quickens

Along with the pace,

Colliding with each other

In tune with the music,

Lips touching,

Chests yearning,

Bodies' attached,

Surrounded by a brilliant aura,

Magical in it's composition,

Rather indescribable,

All the shivers and quakes exchanged

Awaken the glory of the soul

Which has lurked inside

Asleep for so long,

A new spirit stirs within

Opening thine eyes

To the world.

La Ventana

Te veo 

A través de mi ventana, 

Tus ojos la mirada 

A mi, 

Sin miedo, 

Sin duda 

En mi mente 

Que mi importa, 

Me ganó, 

Te ganó 

Y me ganaste, 

Te quiero 

Mi amor, 

Si yo lo sabemos todo 

O no.