a thought on you

why am I so obsessed with you? can I not keep my lips parted from yours but more than a moment? oh, the embarrassment I feel around you...I cannot help myself but be drawn toward you-if I try to stop my heart collapses and I fall limp, unable to move. you keep me motivated to live, am I becoming too attached too soon? 

oh God, please don't let me ruin this one, I plead to you, let him be the One, for I am so enraptured with love I feel if we separate, I shall never fully recover. even the thought of our love ending pains my heart, I feel strings tightening and tears welling inside my chest. however, I do think I need to take it down a notch, I do not want to drive away the one man I actually love, he is the only thing in my life I feel like I truly love. not brotherly love, not infatuation, but something much deeper is coursing through my being- I care about his well being, I put him before me, I am attracted to every aspect of his mind and body, and our differences make us more likely to last. oh, how I love this boy, he is my darling, the one I've always been searching for and happened to find at the age of twenty. right now, I feel like the luckiest woman in the world...I just hope beyond hope that it lasts.