Looking

I look into the distance

Where the sea meets the sky

Wondering if anyone else out there

Feels as confused as I do,

I look out to the beyond

To places I have never known

Thinking of someone

Although I don't know who,

I look at the present state

And the way my consciousness flows through it

Wild yet on a designated path

Toward my true self,

I look inside of my soul

To the spot of eternal life

An indescribable sanctuary 

Where I will forever Be. 

Oreo's Famous Day

It was a Thursday afternoon when Katie decided to eat a chicken Cesar pita. This one small decision changed a little dog’s life forever.

Katie and Oreo sat on her bed while she read a book and ate a chicken Cesar pita and Oreo gazed lovingly at Katie’s lunch.

I never get to eat the yummy human food, Oreo sighed to himself. I wish I could have just one human meal to see what it tastes like.

Katie saw Oreo looking at the pita and gave him a little piece of chicken for him to try.

“Katieee!” yelled her little brother Christopher, “I need help with my math please!”

“Ok, I’m coming!” Katie replied.

She then took two bites of the pita and set it down on her bedside table while she helped her little brother with his homework.

This is when Oreo had a brilliant idea to try and get a hold of that delectable chicken Cesar pita.

Oreo eyed the bedside table from his seat on the bed. He discovered the bedside table was much further from the bed than he had thought, preventing him from being able to jump from Katie’s huge king bed all the way to the bedside table.

“I’ll have to get off this bed if I want to even attempt to get the pita.” So Oreo jumped of the enormous bed onto the hard wooden floor.

He began examining the area around the bedside table, sniffing around the objects lying on the floor. He saw a pink ottoman next to the bed, black and white cords spiraling around the bedside table’s legs, a brown purse and pink flip flops to the left of the table and a plastic box with books on top next to the flip flops.

Oreo’s first thought was, “If only the ottoman were closer to the table, I could jump on it and get the food so easily!”

“Maybe that plastic box with the books on it will work, all I have to do is push it close enough to the table and walk right to the food; no…that will not work, it is too heavy for me to move.”

Oreo observed the area again wondering, “How will I get up there?”

He smelled around the table’s legs, “There’s all these weird wires, hmm, what are they used for? I wonder if I can use them to get me up there. Hmm, maybe Katie dropped some food on the floor.”

Sniff. Sniff. Sniff.

“Darn, nothing!”

I know she just gave me some chicken, but I want more! It was so tasty! I must get that food!

Oreo knew he was a great jumper, but the bedside table was so tall, he wasn’t sure if he could make it, but this was the only way to succeed.

“I know if I run and jump the hardest I ever had, I will be able to reach the pita,” with more examination of the floor space Oreo realized that there was enough room to make a running start.

(backs away from the table)

“Ok, on 3…” Oreo said nervously, “1-2-3!”

Oreo ran so fast and pushed with such force that he was able to jump slightly higher than the top of the bedside table. And the food was just close enough to the edge so that he could grab it in one mighty swoop!

“I did it!” Oreo barked.

Oreo grandly feasted on Katie’s chicken Cesar pita with more pride than the greatest king that had ever ruled.

A few minutes later, Katie came to her room to find her chicken Cesar pita gone and the plate it was on, lying on the floor.

“Oreo!” She yelled.

As she walked around her bed, Kate found Oreo sitting on the floor with scraps of pita bread in front of him and a huge grin on his little furry face.

“Oreo,” Katie laughed, “how did you get up there, you silly dog?”

Katie couldn’t be mad at Oreo, for she knew his determination to get her pita was so great, seeing that this little dog mustered up enough energy to reach on top such a high table.

From that day on, Oreo had the confidence of a pit bull, ready to take on any obstacle that came his way.

The End.

 

 

What's Left

This lonely feeling
Grows inside my boxed–in room,
Alone and stranded
I lay on your side of the bed,
Wearing your favorite button down
And listening to the saddest tunes available;
Thinking about you and me,
Laughing to myself of our adventures
Which turns into a waterfall of tears,
A nightly routine since you left.
I hold a pillow close
Pretending it’s you 

I’m holding onto,
The tears flow into a wet puddle
Under my blotched cheek;
I pull the covers over my freezing soul,
Wishing you’d come back,
Just to hold me once more.
My broken heart is mending
The slowest is it possibly can,
I know it may not be meant to be,
But please give me one last chance;
We’ll get on perfectly
As we always do,
There’s never a dead moment together,
However,
I now lay in silence;
A rotting corpse under the sheets
We once shared,
The only piece of my heart remains
In this single proof of our love.

Life As We Know It

Wake in the midst of fresh dew droplets

Bubbled a top the flowers and leaves 

Surrounding your nest,

Yawning and stretching, 

You peak outside your bungalow

Surveying your rain forest's

Tropical flowers, 

Tall skinny trees wrapped in vines,

Colorful fruits and mushrooms decorate

As animals and insects scramble along.

You spread your wings and take off 

Into your beautiful homeland,

Exploring with your friends

In puddles and rainbows,

Floating on leaves,

Living in harmony without a worry,

Constantly soaring in the sky

Toward endless possibilities. 

You and Me

My breadth has escaped

Once again into the fruitful sky,

Your face takes all responsibility 

For my winded nature,

But as I meet your gaze

Magic enters my bloodstream,  

And I find company in your soul

As we drifted toward the universe

Among the stars

Our entangled auras glisten,

Dancing throughout the solar system,

A grand spectacle admired

By the audience below. 

Thoughts, of course

Why this sudden urge to create? There is nothing more I rather do than create mayhem throughout this forsaken land. The world is going to shit and it seems I need to get up and do something about it before it is all over, but what and how? I need to inform myself about politics and foreign policy so I will be knowledgeable about the policies and programs I protest against. The biggest objection I have is the government. I know the point of one and why government is needed but people are so reliant on their government that they practically give up their brains to the main power ignorantly while going on with life as if nothing is wrong. Wake up call, everything is wrong. Healthcare, unemployment, foreign policy, America’s national debt, war, poverty, and equality-all the things government needs to reform and address. The people of the nations around the world need to educate themselves as best as possible about the happenings around the world, because the more we know the harder we can fight the force and all the just they stand against. 

Paranoia

I hear voices

Telling me what to do

Hissing and lurking

Behind my punctured ears

The wind blows through

My six holes

Reminding me what I should do

And encouraging me to take the easy road

I try and try to rid of them

I hold my ears shut

The voices climb into my brain

Taking over my body

Making me stumble over the days

Carelessly high

And stupefied in my own mind. 

Marker of Destruction

The damage is done,

You can look if you do not believe me

The heartbeat is slow and hallow,

Feel what you have done

Hear the pain you have caused,

I can barely breathe anymore

All my energy is taken

And my heart is broken

You are my angel of death

But tis a far better thing to be dead,

Than alive and heartbroken.

 

 

 

 

 

Men News

Why are men so clueless? They never seem to know what they want in a woman or how to treat the one they are interested in.  We women try and try to please our men, we cater to their physical and emotional needs, and in this modern time, sometimes even their monetary needs, which is very inappropriate. Men never call when they say they will, more often than not they disappear for days, even weeks at a time, leaving women to worry and fret until usually the woman calls the man to make sure he is alive.  They lie to us women all the time about where they have been, their money situation and why they cannot spend time with us when plans have been made. Men take advantage of women, acting as if they really like us maybe even love us, only so they can be pleasured the way they want. How tiring these leeches are, draining women of their pride, ego, spirits and love. The male sex disheartens many lovely women of this earth. Many of us begin life caressed in softness, beauty and innocence until one (to five) men come into our lives and screw us up so badly there is nothing left for us to give, nothing left to feel, no love left to live for. Most men commit these travesties’ against women blindly, however they need to become aware of how badly their treatment affects us, else many more women will end up alone and incomplete.

 

10 Tips to Keep Men Away

1.     1. Be successful

2.     2. Go to the “ladies’ room” three times too often

3.     3. Kiss with too much tongue

4.    4.  Do not laugh at anything he says

5.     5. Act as if you are really interested in him

6.     6. Be yourself-how you act when there is no one around you (i.e., spitting, blowing your nose, taking a dump, wear no makeup)

7.     7. Have a stuffed animal fetish

8.     8. Beat him at games and sports that you play together

9.     9. Wear less feminine clothes

10. 10. Listen to his least favorite genre of music

At the End of the Day…

I would understand
If the world collapses around us,
While the population is running
We can hide together
And forget all the bad we have ever done,
Stay in this one moment
The last time in both our lives,
Look into my eyes
And know you are loved.
I would understand,
If you do not love me back,
But please stay and hold me
I can see you are high-minded,
You can see I am in euphoria,
Thanks for the pills,
They make me feel all right,
During this fretful time of despair.
I would understand
If we both die today,
It seems to be the end of everything we have always known,
I will not say goodbye to you
Hello to this new life coming into play
Understand one thing,
Think me over again before we leave for good,
I will sit here waiting for you to make up your mind,
If it is the last thing I will ever do alive.

Lights

See the light

Taste the light

Hear the light

Remember the light

Hold the light

Feel the light

Know the light

Create the light

Introduce the light

Share the light

Read the light

Never be the light. 

Location's Weather

Some like it

Hot,

Others prefer 

Cold,

Preferences extend to

Breezy,       

The flip-side is

Steamy,

Some choose

Icy,

Others elect

Sunny,

Varieties extend to

Cloudy,

And finally a select group's cup of tea tends to be

Stormy. 

Secrets

Quiet

Never leaves

Lips shut

Graced by a slight purse

Tie your tongue 

Not a word

Silence depresses

The soul

But no sound

Must be made

Quietness all around. 

The Cruelty of Creation

What is it that we all look for,

Wandering around this life

Searching for Mr. or Mrs.,

What a gamble!

How misunderstood

Wonderfully contrived 

This game-like experience

We are put through 

Robotically wound

To find your missing half,

Unbelievably stolid 

Throughout the whole idea. 

The Heart That Has Been Broken

I have an inkling

That we were more than

We seemed,

Our travels and journeys

Through pastures and skin

Lead us to the heart of the Earth,

Where it is warm,

Safe and surreal

I have this inkling,

That we ran deeper

Than the blackest ocean

As engrained

As the Grand Canyon

Beautifully perfect

By mistake,

I had an inkling,

But now it is gone,

You ripped my soul apart

Ignorantly eating my mind

Tearing my thoughts limb from limb. 

Hollywood

Camera’s rolling,

Put your fake face on,

Be dramatic and grand,

Entertain me!

Oh so magnetic

Incredibly hypnotizing

Life without you

Would be much more

Entertaining.  

Message From Above

 

Go now from this forgotten place,

Away from the land of plenty,

Into a deserted terrain of thirst and hunger,

You thee must beg for forgiveness

And never commit here thee sins,

I Am.

Go now from this place of beauty,

Away from the blessed place,

Into a sea of greed,

A hard life you shall live,

So never cross my glorious path,

Or you shall burn in the fiery pits of Hell. 

Hello My Friends

Hello to all you kittens

Playing in the fields

Of lavender

Amongst the butterflies

And critters of sorts,

We all laugh at the sight,

While dancing to the music

Of our car radio,

Time stands still

During this fiesta,

Love is filling the air

Never felt so glorious

In my own skin,

Hello to all you people,

I hope life is swell for you. 

The Sky Is Falling!

Where will we go

When all of the sky crashes

Down upon our puny heads?

There is no place to hide,

Nix spot to run to,

Destiny is pulling us in,

There is no stopping what is to be. 

The Ending.

Where does the earth rust

Into brilliant crumbles

Of land and gold

Blown to pieces

Nothing left to die,

Instantly gone

Snatched by the sun’s rays,

Ripe with singe

Burning down the middle,

It erupts,

Forgotten forever,

As if We have never existed.

 

Finally, I See

I have come to see the light,

Once it frightened me

But now it frees

My soul,

I can see it take flight

Among the birds

Circling around the clouds

It soars

So I feel no pain,

Tears of joy fall

Down my face,

For I have never felt so much

By doing so little,

Blinded and shocked

We fly off into the

Sunset. 

The Nameless Girl

     Long ago, there was once a girl who traveled through life without a name. She could never love since no man ever loved her. A tragic story is this one, full of misery. Take her tale into account and remember her.

     The nameless girl is confused and drained from trying to please everyone around her. She tries and tries to not disappoint, but ends up disappointing herself the most. Her intelligence is lacking and her memory is fading, not to mention her heart has been broken into tiny pieces. Her friends are undependable and so is she. No good comes from this girl, only sadness. She tries to be happy, or at least make everyone think she is happy, but she never has been. Her sadness acts like a microchip planted in her mind, there since the day she was born. Her eyes give away her despair, but her smile fades the signals. Death seems like an option, however she can not bring herself to hurt those she loves even more, so she placates herself with music, books and writing. It must be hard for anyone to understand her ways, since she herself does not even understand her ways. 

      The girl lives in a dream world, wrapped in reality. She moves along with the crowd, afraid to stand out too much. Her methods of living are unsuccessful and her choice making skills are and have always been under par. She struggles with right and wrong; family and friends; life and death. Always unorganized she jumps along her activities aimlessly. 

     One day the girl grew into an adult, working and living a seemingly normal life until she vanished into thin air. Cursed by an evil man, she was locked in a tower high above, secluded from the world. Her hair grew long and greasy, her skin went pale as the full moon and yellowed with malnourishment. She cried herself to sleep every night and laughed her loneliness away during the day. Patiently waiting for her rescuer she stays in the tower, for she was locked in with no key to escape. Unfortunately, no one ever came. She withered and died at a young age. Her corpse lays there rotting away, though no one is close enough to smell the stench. 

     There lays a girl, whose life was a lonely wasteland. Never to be found, never to be saved. A pitiful pile of dust is all that remains of her; the girl who traveled through life nameless. 

The Sky's Call

The sky is a lonely place

Without the stars or the clouds

To fill it up,

Even when the sun and moon

Shine way up high,

I can feel the atmosphere fading away

Into the black universe

Sucking us up 

Slowly and quietly.

Looking up, 

My reflection comes in clearly,

I know one day I will float up 

Molding to the loneliness 

That awaits me, 

To a place I knew I always belonged. 

What Lurks Inside Her

Where is she supposed to go from here? 

All seems lost

When her mind wanders into itself

Leaving humanity behind,

Left in a dark abyss, 

Swallowing her soul whole,

Drowning it with her self pity.

There is no light at the end of the tunnel,

The Blackness never ends

In her head;

She is the living dead,

A zombie hunting herself

Eating her insides frivolously 

And tearing them apart,

Leaving an empty human corpse

Roaming around the earth

With no heart beat or brain,

Only eyes to experience the horror

Around her. 

Waters

Drown me,

I plead with you,

Do not rescue me

From these waters

I am ready to die

To hit the floor

And smash into oblivion

This earth is my hell,

The afterlife 

Must be better than this,

Drown me,

Into Heaven

Seeing the light

I crawl toward it,

Do not take this 

From me,

It is not cruel,

It is life,

And I am ready for

Death to creep inside

My soul. 

To You, My Dear.

Flying

Falling

Bumping

Tripping

Kissing

Bruising

Fluttering

Aching

Wanting

Loving

Beating

Anxious

Needing

Feeling

Adoring

Engulfed

Subliminal 

Seducing

Infatuated 

Succulent 

Obsessed 

Addicted, 

To you, my dear. 

Some Stories Are True

Long ago, there was a girl 

Who was alone on the inside,

But too crowded on the outside,

She tried finding her nitch, 

Looked for love in all the wrong places,

And was a disgrace to her family name. 

This girl, she lived for death, 

Sobriety was never much of an option,

She was utterly undependable

And confused. 

Her insides were as black as her mind, 

Yet her heart shone with goodness, 

"But no one survives off sheer goodness in this life,"

She said to herself. 

There was no where for her to run, 

No place she could effectively hide,

The world's demons have been infecting

Her since birth and with this knowledge

The girl does not know how much more she can take. 

"This life, this tragedy, is blissful and terrible at the same time."

Yet no one heard her. 

No one ever listened to a word she said, 

Each time this broke her heart. 

And soon there was nothing left to break, 

She was left to die, 

Alone and speechless. 

Change

Changes become part of life, 

We try to avoid them sometimes,

Try to make them other times,

But the more we try to control 

The more uncontrollable life gets,

Spiraling into a festival of new stories and 

Happenings everyday. 

Change is unavoidable,

However, one can choose to accept it and

Live in harmony or deny it and

Live in regret. 

Ain't That Swell?

I am my own

Ergo I do as  

I please, 

Walking down 

The path of life

To events

I shall encounter; 

Never to be done

Nor redone.

What is right 

Or wrong?

To question is to

Do wrong,

In lieu of this

Engage in what 

Feels right. 

That is the 

All that I bear to say

On the subject of 

The life we must live

Adieu to you,

I hope to see you again. 

Vines

Blooming and growing

Wiring up the wall

Reaching far and wide

Crawling further up

To the top

Soaring high 

Reaching for the sky

Rolling with such force

Spirals curl side to side

Up and away

Destiny calls

Indeterminately climbing. 

Eye Catcher

Restless and sleepy

I look into your eyes,

Warm and brown

They stare at mine,

A thought,

A feeling,

More than we ever 

Experienced.

A look that melts my heart,

A touch that soothes my soul,

You've captivated 

Every brain cell,

Tingled every nerve. 

There is no way 

In which to express 

This moment,

No way to capture our time 

Together, 

Every kiss, every touch 

So comforting

So perfect,

I never want it to end. 

Explode

Circles and circles 

Of life

Arise from your soul

Into the open air

Exploding into the world

As you become one

With all that is and ever will be.

Rock Me Hard

Rock me like a rocking chair

Hard and smooth

Back and forth

Let's go, I'm not wasting

Anymore time

If you don't want to take up my offer

I'll find someone that will

Oh come on darli'n 

It's late and only a one time thing

Please don't leave me hanging

On a thread

I've got this need 

And you're what I want

Rock me baby

Rock me hard and smooth

I love your anatomy 

I can see you love mine too

So let's rock and roll

All night long

Come on pretty baby

I know you're worried

But there's no strings attached

I want you and 

That's all there is to it

So rock me baby

Rock me hard and smooth

I love your anatomy 

I can see you love mine too

Let's rock and roll

All night long

I understand your reasons

But I understand my own better

Stay and relax

It will be worth it in the end

And you'll know why

It can be our secret

No one will know

So will you please

Rock me into the morning

Roll with me through the night

And that's all I have to say. 

(guitar solo for the next 30 seconds or so)

Bloom

Creativity blooms

In the darkest of rooms

It starts with a small 

Thought of light

And grows

Into a ball of sunshine

Bursting out brightly

Making the dark room

Blinding

With rays of ideas. 

Buh-Bye

I'm not here

Not in this moment

Going 

Going 

Going

Gone

Gone

Gone

Gone

Gone

Adios. 

Goodbye

Out of my way

Out of my mind

Out of my heart

Out of my soul

Out of this town

Out of my life

Just plain Gone. 

To Know Or Not To Know

What is real, 

What is fake

We go round and round

Spinning endlessly 

In a circle

On an axis

In a tiny planet

Inside a huge universe,

What's the point

Of everything

What's the deal with 

These people

So confusing

Yet we know

Ignorance is bliss. 

Emptiness

Carry this away

From this place

All these things

Once held dear

Explode with such force

Left alone

Without a soul

To feel nothing.

Promise Me

Promise me 

Once

Never again

Only once

I plead

I beg

On my knees

Can you feel

My heart bleeding?

I plead you

I need you

Please promise me. 

SOS

Emergency, emergency! 

Hurry 

To the edge of the world

Melting

Into a rage

No escaping

Run

Fast and far

Faster, faster

Hanging by a limb

Survival

Tis the goal

Keep going

Never

Give up. 

To Love and To Loose

Can't breathe.

Heart thumping.

Appetite loss. 

Weight loss. 

Distractions.

Red cheeks. 

Bad hair day.

Lots of makeup. 

Lots of worrying.

Pace.

Back and forth, 

Back and forth.

Sway.

Drink.

Shots.

Forget.

Remember. 

Shots.

Tears. 

Heart drops.

Sinks. 

Ends. 

Glass

See right through you,

No way to hide,

Perfectly clear,

Concise, 

Hard and protective,

Although sometimes ignorantly harmful,

Grace many window panes 

Around the world 

Ever present

And beautiful in all

Your transparency. 

Dead or Alive?

Once again I see 

This life rolling by

Without a chance to see it

In clear tune

Holding on to what I know is true,

Can bring me down 

Just as easily as lies

Leave everything as is

And escape to the water's edge

Where no one will know

My destination

Only that I am either

Dead or alive. 

Markets and Me (song-maybe?)

I'm lost in my own world, 

Caught up in the markets, 

All the monetary values,

And superficiality. 

I'm tired of it all, 

The changes, 

The prices,

The people, 

I can't do much against it,

My hope of escaping 

Is slowly dwindling.

Checking out the display of knives,

The durability of the ceilings that surround me,

But I know the easy way out 

Won't be so,

I'm a moron 

For thinking about it.

I'm a little superstitious, 

Yes I'm a little skeptical, 

Even a little superficious, 

Everyone is at least once in a while,

Someone shout

So I know I'm not the only 

Left alive.

This life is coming to a close,

I feel it,

I sense it,

A terrible loneliness that 

No one understands

What my mind produces

Since they're caught up

In their own miserable lives. 

I'll keep moving toward freedom,

Looking for an absolution,

To these nomadic ways we call

Advanced, 

All I can do is believe,

Believe that one day life 

Will be alright. 

All we can do is strive,

Strive to make this life

O.k. 

Strive to make it all fine. 

My Dracula

Caught by the glance of a stranger,

Intrigued 

For his smile was unusually perfect,

I harbor a growing hunger

Met with an overwhelming desire

He approaches me,

Touches my arm with a cool rush,

Asks me to have dinner with him,

Although he didn't eat, simply watched.

I was never frightened,

There was a flaming connection between us.

He told me he loved me two weeks later.

I drank his blood that night,

And he drank mine, 

Connecting our blood for all eternity,  

He is my love, my maker, my soulmate. 

My Dracula. 

My Dear (song)

I'd like to say bonjour to you my dear,

It's been quite awhile,

Since we've said goodbye,

Used to drink together every night,

Sit in the car everyday, 

Listen to music

Plus some other things. 

So nice to see you again,

You think so too,

I can't help you've got my heart again

I feel I may have yours too

We walk round the park 

Talking how we used to,

Bonjour to you my dear,

You look so wonderful with 

A weary suit and crooked tie,

Holding hands as we walk

Is as normal as the rain 

And with as much intensity as lightning, 

I'm glad to have your flowers

In my hair once more.

The day is as short as can be,

Parting our separate ways,

You smile,

I walk away,

Drive home

And try to forget. 

Auvuir to you my dear, 

I've been hurt too many times

Now the smell of your

Oder reeks of lies

Swarming  over this relationship

Sorry to say we were too immature

To know anything at all. 

Kissing Crust (song)

I tried to let you know 

That I care, 

I tried to tell you with my 

Eyes and mouth,

But my feelings seem to be

Unrequited, 

I'm not going to cry,

I'm not going to hurt,

It's not meant to be

And that's something

I must see. 

Everything we did,

Every word you said,

All the looks in the world 

Will never compare, 

To the way we look at 

Each other,

I'm not going to cry,

I'm not going to hurt, 

It's not meant to be,

And that's something

I must see. 

I will be just fine,

Tomorrow when I 

Can think clearly,

For now my heart sinks

When you talk to another

As I'm standing right there

Hurting.

I'm not going to cry, 

I'm not going to hurt,

Maybe it's not meant to be,

And that's something

I must see.

Life goes on,

Love comes and goes,

So let's stay friends,

It may be a lie,

It may just work out,

Is it too much to ask?

I'm not going to cry,

I'm not going to hurt, 

It may not be meant to be,

And that's something

I must see. 

No I won't cry,

I won't hurt,

The pain's too much to take,

I can't let you get to me,

So I placate the pain

By eating the words 

I'll never say. 

Nudiustertian (song)

The day before yesterday,

I saw you

Waving to the sun,

Smiling at the moon,

Wishing on the stars, 

I'm skeptical yes I know,

I'm superstitious and that's ok, 

We're all somewhere in this 

Wild place.

See the day,

See the night,

Kiss the morning 

Hello for me, 

I'm tired yes I know,

I' m fucked up and that's ok,

We all get off track

Once in a while. 

Running in the sunlight,

Laughing in the moonlight,

Our lives reflect in the sky

Above,

I'm avoided yes I know,

I'm used and that's ok,

We're all used and abused

In this life. 

Working under the bright light,

Sleeping under the night light,

The phone rings but 

It's not head,

I'm stressed yes I know,

I'm drained and that's ok,

We all over-worry 

Today and tomorrow. 

Playing with the clouds, 

Staring into the dark,

Counting the stars in the

Huge blanket above,

I'm crazy yes I know,

I'm playful and that's ok,

We're all a little too sincere 

Every now and again. 

Don't change,

Don't move,

Just groove

Through the day and night

It comes and goes

As lives do

End and begin 

Over and over

Over and over,

Over and over.       

Rhyme with Reason

Chains

Trap me in the rain, 

I've nothing to gain, 

By riding this endless train, 

Going hopelessly insane, 

Dwelling in my own pain,

Letting my emotions drain, 

In the Mary Jane, 

Trying to feign, 

Looking sane, 

Although it's all in vein. 

Pour Liquid Acid On My Face

Feather me up,

Let me know,

Lead me on like a pup, 

Then leave me feeling like Edgar Allen Poe,

Miserable and alone, 

Looking for a place to call home. 

Traveling along, 

Your sick mind,

And you wonder why something's always wrong,

Maybe one day you'll find,

It's you not me,

Maybe one day you'll see. 

I loved you, 

I fell far below the ridges, 

With your woo,

Frozen by the fridge's,

Cold liquor rush,

Thanks to a stupid crush.

I tried to loose your sorry self,

But somehow you kept coming back,

Never a good tacit for one's health,

When it's love you lack,

I see this day's life going nowhere, 

Where no one's there to care. 

Lily Along

     I've made many a mistake in  my lifetime. 

     I've done many stupid things, made terrible decisions, and been in pretty little pickles one too many times. I suppose mistakes and I go hand in hand, they've always been a part of my life, because I am one of those people that learn the hard way. But even though there are many situations I wish I could change, I wouldn't now. Those tough times, the hard patches, the morning after mistakes have made me into the woman I am becoming, and I like to think I'm stronger, more accepting and empathetic because of it. Shit happens. Accept it. Embrace it. Run with it. For if you do not, you will surely be your own demise. 

Care Free

Bongo drums thumping, 

Hips bumping 

To the sound

And the electrical feeling. 

Swing and sway

Swig and chug

No misconceptions

No wondering why

Just moving

Grooving

And bodily smooth'n. 

Don't worry ,

Be happy,

And laugh your days away. 

Logically Artificial

Logic and Reason

Give no rhyme to 

The seasons

Of time rushing by

There is comfort in

The imagination of things

Of how they should be 

Of how they are wanted to be,

A battle of real and fake

Leave precious minds to bake;

Keep on moving

Through right and wrong

Finding morals in poems sung

Season to season 

Waiting for happiness to wrap

Around reality. 

Fatso

Stale in gluttony, 

Rounded and rimmed

In chocolate, 

Ripening with every bite, 

Delicious and non-nutritious,

Floating in the sea,

Now sinking, 

On the way down 

I notice the nastiness

Inside of me and 

In an instance, 

It's rehashed into the ocean

And I float once more

On top of the pinkish- brown sea.     

Rain

The rain taps against my window,

Telling me it's o.k. to cry.

I watch God's tears pour down

Strong and hurt,

His pain keeps the earth alive,

His heartache keeps the world green,

But His tears keep me sane. 

The Winners

Inside my mind

I can't take it

All alone

Fighting this war

With reason and logic

Against a hail of wrong

The victor stands proud

Laughing at his

Enemy, shriveled into pieces

Across the battlefield.

Wrong has won again. 

Make no mistake, 

He rules the world.  

Brain Freeze (song)

Sitting in my three room apartment 

Alone on the floor pillow

Listening to music

And trying to get high

Which is the only way 

I know to 

Keep me from crying

The door to the porch 

Is open in hopes to ventilate 

Cigarette smoke

That no longer exists 

And the attempt of a 

Determined soul to finish 

Every bit of white

Thinking of 

What to think about

Yes, my life does not

Consist of much

Since all reasons

Have been stripped away

Crippled and low

Staring at the blank walls

Which box in a single

Hand-painted table

A project left unfinished

Blink twice

Though there's nothing 

In my eyes 

My blank mind

Thinks of nothing 

I have no thoughts

Only sight

Of the emptiness around me

Lives are going on

As I watch and hear them buzz

No time to stop

And have nothing to think about

No time to see

It is all meaningless

No time to know

That just being here may be enough. 

Yes. my life does not 

Consist of much

But I like it that way

At least for today.

Song about a song

Draw me in

Capture my attention

Touch my soul

Tears well up

I choke them back

And listen to the words dancing

Blissfully in my ears

Ignite a passion

For something I can not describe

An emotion so deep

It has never been named

Take me in

Don't ever stop

Teleporting me to

Foreign places

In my head

You are my savior 

My one light 

In such a dark world 

Comforting me with 

The sound of the moon

Raining stars in the sky

I have hope for something. 

Hear This (song)

My heart is bursting

Glorious light

I am thirsting

For us to take flight

Take me into consideration

Each morning when you wake

Please have no hesitation

For our souls' sake

How can I still need

You despite your pushing away

Take my desperate heed

To rephrase and stay

Don't be scared to jump

We'll fall together 

I'll lead you through the bumps

And stormy weather

So

Take me into consideration

Each morning when you wake

Have no hesitation 

For our souls' sake

We need each other

That is all that matters

I've no need to bother

Any man phatter 

I love you.

I love you

I love youuuuuuuuu

I love you. 

Here Is Reality

We are acting by the script we are given.

Nothing is real. We just play along with the television writers and producers who frolic in their green fields of stolen money. 

Mom, How Are Babies Born? (song)

Acorns and oak trees,

Talk to the birds and the bees. 

They chirp and chime,

The days away,

Until one day,

They died. 

But wait what is this?

A baby tree!

Brown, green and immature, 

It stands alone,

In the middle of the wood,

All alone it sways,

In the wind

Waiting to grow into 

The tree her mother was. 

The years go by,

She stands strong and true,

Listening to the earth around,

Tweet tweet, a bird  flies from afar,

And makes his home in the tree's branches,

She smiles and laughs

As he tickles her leaves with

Sticks and moss from below.

The years go by,

She stands big and beautiful,

Harvesting the birds and the bees.

(sung in slightly electronic tone) 

Pits (song)

Repeat

Repeat

What you already said 

Bore, bore, bore me

To my certain death

I thought it was ok,

We were getting through

This rut,

But your constant 

Surprising un-advancing ways 

Kill.

Drive me up Mount Vesuvius

And let me dive

Into the fiery flames

Of a bubbling hell.

I rather burn than

Surrender,

So don't expect a 

White flag,

I know you won't understand,

Because you never do,

Let me burn

Into ash,

Our relationship is genetically 

Designed to last,

So I will burn,

From the inside out,

To get away from you.   

Hola! I Hate You (song)

Swaying with the trees

Blowing in the wind

Lost in green and blue

Feeling the grass

Between my toes

Everything's ok when

I'm standing in the

Middle of nowhere 

To be found

So much to do

So much to be

So much to make

So much to pay

Just STOP! 

And f-l-o-w with it

I say hey Mr. Tree

Can  you help me out?

I like your life better than mine

My parents say check with reality 

But I say I'm already down with gravity

So there! 

He said follow your heart, 

And screw authority

Hello little birdie, 

What's your story?

Chill'n all day

Under the sun's rays

I want to fly,

Oh my

What now? What to do?

My mind's so wide,

But my heart's so blue

Unwind, undo

Everything unto you. 

Mistaken (song)

It's 6 o'clock in the morning,

I'm drunk and high and borin',

There's not much to this story,

But thoughts and sleep and dreams

Come into me 

So we can see

The world together 

In my thoughts, 

In my sleep,

In my dreams you came to me

Running far, running free

We'll let our lives 

Fall in perfect harmony.

So up high

To the moon,

Dancing to the tune,

Of the stars

With you I'll never part,

We are one another,

For all time.

In my mind, in my soul,

I lost all control,

Tell me

Do you feel

Everything 

That I feel?

Don't lie,

I know we are both

Hypnotized. 

Come into me 

So we can see

The world together 

In my thoughts, 

In my sleep,

In my dreams you came to me

Running far, running free

We'll  let our lives 

Fall in perfect harmony.              

What is real?

What's the deal?

I've become blindsided

Trying to

Differ-en-tiate  

This relationship style

Don't you see

We are--

Each other's fate,

Please, see that it's

Me. 

Remedy

BREATHE.

think  clearly.  concisely.  slowly.  inhale,  good.  nothing  is  bad, only  beautiful,  

so sMile.  (:

Losing Some Things Of Importance

It's crazy how things you obtain for a lifetime can be taken away so suddenly. A moment it is there, the next, nonexistent. Nothing lasts, this I know; but one incident changes your life forever. You are no longer the same person. You look the same, act the same, seem the same, but somewhere deep inside you have changed.  You don't look at yourself the same, don't know what to think about the subject. It happened, you accept that, but part of you wishes you could change it, another not regretting it all. Things happen for a reason, maybe it's better off this way.  We'll find out one day I suppose. Until then, vivir un vida loco. 

Pretty Trash

The flower 's

Color is felt  

Against your finger

As the red liquid 

Rolls down gracefully

Dripping onto the ground

Oh 

Red, red Rose

Why do you tell me so?

Can I not enjoy you without pain?

You place the flower in the garbage

And throw her away. 

Roll Over

Twisting your feet

In the spiraled sheets

Trying to get comfortable

Next to me,

Your itching to leave

I see it in your movements

Roll of the bed

Onto the carpet

I grant your wish 

Pop the pills

And drift away from you

Lying on the floor. 

What Wonders In The Sky

Animals float

In the water

Above the earth

Hovering the humans

And their prototypes

Watching us 

As we look up to them

With wondrous eyes

Wishing we could be a part of their world.  

On the Edge of the Black Bed

Traveling through time

Into fazes of memories

Through  your mind

Stopping and going

As you please

Soaring past colors

You laugh 

And cry

At your life's mistakes

Slowly sinking into it's abyss 

Your eyes close

For the last time. 

Rationalism

Reason

Season

Freezing

Pleasing

Treason

Lesion 

Teasing

There's no rhyme 

Without reason. 

The Body's Weather

Heat travels up my spine

Serendipitously 

Crawling all over

My body

My mind

Blinded with sun

Can't think clearly

With this sudden 

Climate change

Enrapturing me

Kindly, yet harshly

I melt 

Into the earth.

Peace

ReLive Time

Break through the barriers 

Of physics

And clocks

Open your mind

To the past

The present

Create possibilities

For the future

In your head

Without a word

Less you will be

Dead. 

Dayz

Sitting on the porch as you always do, smoking a cigarette and messing around on the computer. No one is online, no one is texting you; you assume this is because it's a Sunday night although that is not too convincing. Music is playing in the background, inspiring you; or maybe just calming you down. The small town is quiet, everyone is tucked away in their bungalows, or in someone else's. You think about the boy you met last night who was supposed to come to your apartment but you got sick and passed out. You wonder if he is ever going to text you back again or accept your facebook friend request. You sit quietly on your porch, ever so quietly. You think the neighbors must think you're weird for practically living on this porch. You have nothing else to think about, there is nothing else; except for the English reading you have yet to do. Another day has come and gone in your mediocre life. You realize nothing vital has been taken care of and you don't care. You are and that is all that matters.  

"Smoking My Cancer"

Smoke

Swirls like ballerinas 

Dancing in the sky

Swirling 

Twirling 

With inexplainable grace

Surrounding its victim

Gloriously 

Waving its hand 

Majestically captivating

The air it consumes

Smoke.

Moth

Creating so many holes, 

So much to mend,

It bewilders me. 

How did such an unsuspecting creature

Bring about such damage?

So quiet, so serene,

It crept into my darkest corner,

Leaving no evidence

Except tons of tiny holes. 

My most treasured sentiments 

Ruined,

Which holds my disdain

Against this creature. 

His work, however natural 

Must be put to an end, 

I can stand no more holes 

Else I have nothing to shield 

Myself from the world.

I put my cigarette out,

Burning this careless insect 

Relinquishing him from

My closet,

Putting an end to this madness.

I close the door triumphant, 

Yet melancholic,

For his damage 

Brought light to possibility, 

An endless array of new color to 

The droll garments.

All stopped with a simple 

Ash of light.

Gather Together

We all have our concepts of the world.

I know everyone looks at it differently. 

I want to see what others see.

I want to hear what others hear.

I want to share what I feel. 

Come on over,

It's not too early,

It's not too late,

To begin what we always wanted to start.

A revolution. 

A revelation. 

A sensation. 

A nation. 

Gather 'round, 

For this epiphany quickly,

Before it's too late

To catch a glimpse 

At this shooting star. 

Serum for the Sick

Am I out of my mind? 

Going up 

Going down

Drifting sideways

Out of this place

To a land 

Filled with smiles

No frowns

Purple ponies

Bright green trees

Perfumed flowers

Wonders all around

I can't grasp 

This concept 

This freedom

Too cool

For school

Mozy down to the sidewalk

Walking no where

In my mind

In myself

More than I could have ever imagined

Am I out of my mind?

Am I going insane?

Or am I discovering

Myself. 

Remembering Heartbreak

It is incredibly weird that the strong strong feelings I had for Gabe a little over four months ago have completely diminished. The whole Gabe faze started a little over a week before Thanksgiving break. We were outside smoking a cigarette and he was sitting in the chair I had sat in earlier that day. 

"I'm sorry, I stole your chair."

"It's fine, I don't really care. giggle. giggle," I replied. 

"Well, you can sit on my lap if you want..."

And so it began. We stayed outside talking forever, me sitting horizontally over his beautiful 

olive skinny body. I took him up to my apartment to show him a lithograph I did senior year, 

which applied to the conversation we were having. We talked a lot that week, always sat really 

close together on the couch, and even though I thought the chemistry wasn't noticeable or even 

sure if it was really there all our friends kept asking if something was going on between us.  

I think it was a Tuesday when he kissed me. Drew, Gabe and I were chilling at Drew's watching a movie. Drew left to go to Benson's for a couple minutes so Gabe and I were left sitting dangerously close on the couch. I was sitting stone still, just watching the movie not expecting anything at all. Out of no where Gabe tilted his head down to the left toward me and practically kissed the side of my mouth. I was shocked. At first I didn't kiss back because I was still stunned out of my mind and a little stoned, but the kiss was so utterly gentle and soft I fell limp. My shoulders slumped down, my body utterly relaxed itself like never before or thereafter. Eventually I came to and kissed back although I was still dazed from surprise and the kiss. I backed up on the couch in a seductive way, but really I only wanted to sit back against comfy pillows and not sit uncomfortably twist my spine as I was, Gabe apparently thought it was an invitation to feel me up. He attempted three times, failed the first two and finally he seduced me to let him touch my breast. He did it so carefully and again, gentle. Then I suppose he heard Drew's feet in the hallway and shot up swiftly, kind of helping me up in the process. Drew walked in and we acted as if nothing had happened. After that night Gabe has never acted the same around me; except for the day I got back to Auburn from Spring break. I slept over at Sewell in his room, in his bed because he highly suggested it. We were talking for a while, I asking lots of questions to avoid the luring awkwardness. He kept flirtatiously finding excuses to lay closer to me, the room continuously got warmer to the point of numbing my skin.  We kept positioning ourselves all over one another. Then I laid too close to Gabe and he "woke up," jumped out of bed and left the room. I just rolled over and tried to sleep.  Gabe was gone for about twenty minutes and when he came back he grabbed a blanket and went on the top bunk. 

I thought, "What the hell is the guys doing? I never understand him! Why does he tease me? Whatever, I'm going to bed."

After that instance Gabe stopped talking to me again. I gave up completely on him in late March after that terrible first night back. There's our story, our history, our whatever the hell it was; nothing, it was nothing. 

I am still curious about him, about the couple we'd make, about kissing him more, re-doing the surprise kiss that started it all, curious if he still has any interest in me.  Oddly enough, it all ends with wondering. No more heartbreak, no more tears, no more torture. I can barely remember what it felt like, I have to rack my brain for that time in my life when the world revolved around Gabe and I couldn't go a single day without seeing him or feeling my heart tear incessantly; even then I have a difficult time channeling the emotions I dealt with everyday. 

However, I do remember how I thought. I remember literally centering my world around him. I wouldn't go out-out, I think I did only twice from early November through early January. Instead of partying I would go down to Drew's where Gabe always stayed and sometimes Sewell Hall, where he really lived, and smoke with them. A lot of the time it was just Drew, Gabe and me hanging out. Sometimes Gabe and I would be awkwardly left alone, I would try to make conversation and act like it wasn't awkward, but he put up a gigantic wall and wouldn't let me through. I think he tried to encourage me not to like him or become attached to him. At first, that tacit did not work. I could tell he still wanted me too, especially when he was really high. Gabe's eyes would lock with mine often on these occasions and the vibe was surreal.  I would often catch him looking at me with this expression that looked as if he wanted to devour me so badly but was using all his strength and will power to hold himself back; which always reminded me of Twilight's Edward Cullen. His jaw would be clenched, eyes intense and focused, pupils dilated (possibly from more than just the high?), and he would be completely tense-looking. During these intense moments, if  we made eye contact he practically looked like he was in pain. To this day I am still daunted by this "stance." It made no sense to me, honestly I thought he still had feelings for me, I think if one has suspicions that another likes them they're usually correct; so knowing he wanted me but held back hurt me. 

I wanted him to kiss me again, hold me, love me. I think I was in love with him, maybe it was an intense lust, but it was something that I have never experienced so strongly before, plus he is still the best kisser out of the fifty-odd people I've kissed. I seriously doubt anything will ever happen between us, however my curiosity of the sort of relationship we would have continues. I am positive if in November we had started dating I would have fallen head over heals in love, if I wasn't already. I can't speak for him, but there's always that possibly he would have too. Now Gabe is not even coming back to Auburn next year. I'm sure I'll see him again, whenever he visits but I now know there is no chance, no hope. It is officially over.  I've done very well getting over him, it was one of the hardest 'crushes' to look past but eventually I did it by limiting my time downstairs and hanging out with different people. If there's a will, there's a way. He goes on living.  I go on living. Too bad I'll never know if he is my soulmate or not. Maybe not. But it could have definitely been one hoTt stage in our lives.  

Our Universe Is Slowly Deteriorating

The World (at least in this universe) is coming to its own demise because people do not surround themselves in truth. I am somewhat in this naive category myself, but by opening up and letting myself be open to others findings, opinions, and feelings I have unearthed knowledge of this world we are all stuck in. It's a terrible thing. A series of unfortunate events. 

Religion, war, government are all not what they seem. The truth of religion will remain mostly a secret; no one will ever have full understanding of the supernatural. War is only fought to increase a country's/leader's power. There is no point to fight unnecessary wars, there is no point to take innocent lives, there is no point to create weapons of mass destruction, there is no point to slowly destroy the beauty in the world, there is no point to fight over land for any reason; no point at all, unless you happen to be such a disgusting selfish individual that you are willing to have others fight a war you want to put on in order to increase your own power and influence. Governments around the world are mostly made up of the greedy individuals that start pointless wars. The United States has become a country controlled by bankers, an extremely unfortunate case since these bankers have no concern about the people, only themselves and their families. They constantly keep their political ideologies to themselves, disabling the citizens in their own country of substantial knowledge, keeping us all in the dark while they become richer and richer from all the taxes bestowed upon us and their control of the money flow. 

I can not stand it. I do not want to put up with this political bull shit anymore. Apparently, the United States plans to "unite" with Canada and Mexico, forming some sort of alliance, just like Europe, Africa, and soon Asia. Eventually, the plan is for the world to fall under one government, leaving no escape to the selfish madness. If this does happen, I feel all hope of freedom will be crushed. The Americans worked so hard to become its own country only to be united with England again (and the rest of the world on top of that). We must stand up against this. Peaceful riots are necessary. We have to inform the majority of the population, we have to stop it while there is still time. The clock is ticking, the sand is running low. I feel there is nothing to console the tears around the world. I wish I could hug everyone who has been affected by the tragedies of war, comfort them, and convince them to rise up against it. It is not fair, not right, not natural. Yes, battles and wars have been going on since the beginning of time, but do we not realize that the most damaging wars took place only to build empires, attempt to take over the world, control an area or reap the benefits a certain area naturally provides? Does no one realize this? 

Fuck this shit. The only war that should be fought is that against controlling, selfish, uncaring governments (or bankers).  They need to see the error of their ways, which they won't, only be very angry if all their impetuous plans are spoiled. 

Watch this movie (the first one), it will change your perspective on religion, war and government. It fueled more of the fire burning in me and I hope it does the same for you. 

http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/

good night, never morning

heavy eyes

never cease 

sleep is more enticing

than the surrounding 

life 

which constantly 

causes pain 

and misery

so choose

the bed

rather than 

face the tragedy 

that awaits. 

Reject, Again

My heart is breaking, it sucks.

I'm so stupid. 

I am so bad at approaching guys i like about liking them. 

It's so awkward. 

And uncomfortable.

I feel like they should be the one telling me they like me, not vice versa. 

I told him i really like him.

He isn't saying it back.

The bile is rising.

I am going to be sick. 

My chest it tightening. 

I feel the pain rush out,

The tears cloud my eyes.

Rejected yet again.

And it hurts all the same,

Possibly more

Since i opened up an old wound

For the first time in months.

I knew I shouldn't have gotten in too deep,

And now I am gone.

Tree Sap

Can not grasp

Reality in full

It seeps through 

My fingers

To the floor

Mixing into the wood

Running away

Forever lost in time.

Kick It

We are all going no where. Technically time is non existent, so we are always in the same state of time, staying in the same moment forever. It is sad the things humans create to try to compensate for the lack of knowledge we possess, if we could except the unknown and take everything as it is, there would be a significant decrease in world problems. I want to escape everything and start new somewhere, with a new identity and no past. This is my surrender, my white flag. I am ready to refresh and re-start my journey to no where over.

LyRics

the drugs make it all ok, life isn't so bad, no worries but right here, now and your imagination, the celebrities, they don't matter, clothes are petty, all i want is this. give me a reason, give me some answers, give me hope, cause i'm slowly drifting away in this world of money and greed. I want that reefer, so pass the lucy, hang out molly, we all have fun. i like these drugs. i hate this life. and all these people telling me what to do. i want some freedom. some absolution. drugs make it all ok. let's all get trippy and look at the lights. there is fairy ballerina in the sky, she is saying drugs make it all ok. we are painting, pretty colors across our bodies. we look so pretty, with painted clothes, people look and we shout, drugs make it all ok. i wanna prance, i wanna dance, in a field full of flowers. it's all good fun, nothing bad, because drugs make it all ok.

Knife Me

I want your pain

To seep inside of me

Create a slow death

Take me

Take me 

Take me

I got your angst

Away from you

Now I'm the one fighting

Now I'm the psychotic one

It just is this way

Get lost in this battle

Blood, blades and burns

Creep into my head and heart

Overwhelming me

To attach to you 

My Phone Died (song)

I thought you'd call,

Thought you may come

To me,

Haven't seen your face

In oh so long.

I'm itching for you to reach me

I'm dying for you to show me that 

You care,

But I'm just left in the dark

With no one to hold

And really wanting you so.

Why'd you go away

And leave me all alone

Why'd you separate

My heart into two

We were having so much fun

Until you stopped writing me

Now I'm left alone 

Torn helplessly. 

Sitting at home 

Laying on my couch

Thinking about you

For so long

I can't seem to get you

Out of my mind

I'm wanting to surrender this feeling now.

Why'd you go away

And leave me all alone

Why'd you separate

My heart into two

We were having so much fun

Until you stopped writing

Now I'm left alone

Torn helplessly. 

Now I'm brokenhearted 

Sitting all alone

Wishing you were here

By my side

I know what I know

And I know you're not coming round

Anymore. 

I know you're not coming round

Anymore.

tiDy

Ambition blinds the ambitious of the reality around them. Only their desires are seen and nothing will stand in their way until the goal is achieved. 

Flood

Sparkles glisten,

A ring twines around her slender finger,

Delicate,

Simple beauty,

Splashes of salted water engulf the wonder,

Floating away in an endless flood,

Never to return,

It is lost at sea. 

Sleepy

Sleepy eyes burn as they try to close,

Try to entice them to open,

They are tranquilized,

As are the drums which generate the heart,

All is numb,

Cold and static. 

Shit always happens

We're all messed up. Humans are natural fuck ups. We stem from a mistake, therefore we are prone to make mistakes. 

Film

The brilliance of this life

Wrenches the heart

Confuses the mind

Flurrying all senses 

Away from reality.

Blissful 

Tantalizing

Wicked.

Discretion is advised. 

Rise Up

The bile rises, 

Anxious hands scramble

For something to hold,

Disheartening thoughts 

Cloud reality,

Nervously moving

Back and forth,

Trying to clean up

All past mistakes,

The toilet looks comforting 

It flushes all my worries

Somewhere else. 

four twenties

Inhale deeply,

Let it penetrate your lungs,

Burning incessantly, 

A lovely fog,

Surrounds your face,

Indulge in paradise,

And all its delights. 

Color Me Happy

I drift through thorn bushes,

Cut incessantly by each dagger,

Scraped,

Caught,

Scared,

I wander aimlessly,

Slowly bleeding,

To my death. 

Pleading Truths Untold

I want to swim through your River,

Inside your flowing veins,

Into the current of your heart,

Slowly floating down,

Atop your waves,

In gentle alliance

With your nature,

Take me under the ripples,

Drown me in your sweet touch,

I want the magic impressed upon me,

As I drift in your River. 

Dwelling on Fate

Fate. The unique force that brings to separated beings together in perfect alignment. It is hard to believe in such a thing when fate seems to have denied you. There are so many people in the world, so many possibilities out there; it seems finding your soul mate is impossible. I can not explain this phenomenon, only allude on it, try to understand it a little bit better. Attraction, commonalities, experiences, desires, worries all have a hand in the bond between two people. A missed encounter is all it takes to deny fate or at least put it off for some time. There is no such thing as sense in this field, only instinct. No reason, no folly. Simply raw knowing. But you won't know until you know. 

Denied a First Breadth

A seed is planted

Under the asphalt, 

Buried with care,

It strives to grow,

Pushing with all force,

Treading toward the sunlight,

The plant withers,

Into the darkness

For all eternity. 

NIght of the Twister

I’m scared and alone. The rain is pounding like small rocks against the building surrounding me. I know not what to do if the tornado comes. I sit on the third floor, confused, by the mass of people on their porches. What are they awing about? I have no one to comfort me or reassure me during this time. I just busy myself with writing and cleaning, hoping it will all go away. If it comes, if I die, no one will know of my writings. No one will come to understand the complexity of yet another human’s mind. The rain slows and quickens to an unheard beat. It falls with might, the thunder and lightening reminders of nature’s authority. Sirens blast in warning. My heart races in anticipation. I am scared and alone. 

Celebration of Sorrow

Alone

On a Holiday

You always celebrate.

Dress up in your nicest dress,

Carefully apply your face,

Fix your hair.

As the asphalt crumbles

Beneath your feet,

A cringe emerges.

Blisters throb as

The heels cut into your feet.

Smile,

It is a happy day.

Families bustle about,

Little children smile for pictures

While popping candies in their mouths.

Remember when this was you.

Tears cloud your eyes,

Do not let them go.

You stand lonely, awkwardly

Waiting for this torture to end.

This dismal day

Lasts forever

Because you are alone. 

Teeth

Strong and white

Glisten in the morning

Waking a heavy sleeper

With their slippery touch

Wet delight warms

Smooth comfort

In every bite,

Wanting more

Till the days end. 

Let Loose By a Folly

Hatred locked in a music box

Is let loose by a folly

Into the world

It roams

Searching for a place

To play.

It rests in people, places

A tragic beat.

Nothing will stop it.

The music remains

Until the day it dies. 

Silence

I look at myself in the mirror

Raw. Bare. True.

Standing there in Silence,

I weep softly. 

No one will hear,

No one will know,

That I stand

With sunken eyes,

Cloudy with rain,

A thinning body,

The bones

Start to poke through.

Pale face,

Looking at nothing

In Silence.

I look at myself in the mirror,

Seeing what everyone else does.

Standing there in Silence.

I know what I know,

I care for what I care.

No one knows what,

No one knows why,

That I believe

In love,

In God,

In redemption.

Reading the past,

I learn great stories.

Writing the present,

I tell wonders

In Silence. 

The Lazy Man Works The Hardest

On track

Got it.

Temptation

Give in.

Off track

Crash.

Learn fast

Give up.

Lie hard

Off the hook.

Make up

Stress out.

Excuse Excuse

No excuse. 

Stress out

Fake out.

Mess up

Too much.

Can I fix this

Can I get away with it?

Help

Beg for help.

God please

Help me.

Never again

Only now.

Never again

Just this once.

Barbie and Skipper are Coming at Me

I am the epitome of a dirty mess. Nothing goes right. I can not lie for my life, and when I do Karma bites me with much force in the butt. I procrastinate, which muddles up life a lot. I loose my phone too much, it is irresponsible and my parents do not forget to yell that over and over. I know I need to straighten up, get my stuff together, grow up; but my mind is not ready to mature quite yet. I am still a kiddie, just slightly older. I am still confused, self conscious, dreamy, learning and exploring. I guess I'll always be a kid in that sense. So why push the maturing? I am sorry I am a screwup. It is the terrible truth. So do not remind me. Leave me be. I'm just a kid, let me play. 

Search for Love

Looking

Searching

Digging

Through the mud

For something true

Something raw

Arms are going limp 

Will not stop

Need to find this gem

An endless hunt

To find emptiness. 

Waving the White Flag Mercilessly

My heart is tearing in two

Not sure what to do

In the mist of all confusion 

There is no glimmer of sun

I wait for a sign 

Hoping to know you are mine

While I wait

For a decisive fate

Acid fills my stomach

Confidence I lack

My skin crawls

My body falls

Knowledge of the truth 

Tramples me with a heavy hoof

Crushing every bone

I can do nothing but moan

Pitifully in defeat

My heart weeps.

A State I Always Knew

Dead.

What is

What has always been.

Truth strikes

The core of pain

Rekindling the notion.

Beauty intoxicates

Blood,

It runs through

Tranquilizing the pain.

Back to 

What is

What has always been. 

Dead. 

Contemplation of Life

Goosebumps travel

Down cold skin

Petrifying the soul

To stand still.

No one comes

Sit alone

Frightened 

Of the present

State of mind.

Numb emotion

Sweeps through veins

An old bullet

Massacring the insides 

Tearing life

To tiny bits.

Words

We speak, write, type, express, enlighten, ignite, command, compel, describe, transcribe with words. Words are the most insatiable gift man has given the world. They enrich everyday life, literature and art. Without words, nothing would be as it is. Nothing would have a name. There would literally be no words to describe anything. I love words. They are beautiful and very much underrated. Every word had a meaning, defined by other words. We associate words with objects, emotions, people, events, time, memories, generes, sounds, smells, tastes, places, religion, fun. Each word has a different context. A sentence can take on a whole new meaning by choosing a certain  synonym for a word. Words. Letters. A magnificent life-altering invention. 

Blank Dial

The people in this world are mostly fucked up. 

Alcoholics 

Druggies 

Pedophiles

Murders

Rapists

Psychopaths

Greedy

Gluttonous

Workaholics 

Bullies

Animal-killers

Plastic Surgery Patients

Depression

Shopaholics 

Selfish 

Power-Hungry 

Our population is infected with people that have problems. Our problems, no matter how miniscule we perceive them to be, deteriorate our insides, eat away our sense and torment our will. Can the madness be stopped? No. But we as an intelligent species can lighten the horror in our society. We have to. Before people stop finding a reason to live, or keep others alive. Before all hell breaks loose. We have to try to ease the growing number of people's individual troubles. How can this be accomplished? I don't know yet. If we keep searching, a solution will be found. We need to let others know they have great potential abilities to utilize, and they are not the only one fighting through rough patches. We need to come together and support those with addictions, disorders, chemical in-balances and warped thoughts. 

A Feigned Face

Smiling and happy,

Nothing is ever wrong

In my perfect life,

No worries

No troubles,

Always a clear mind

Driven to do the right thing,

Bright eyes shining,

Teeth glistening,

I wear an ever present mask.

 

Homeward Bound

The saying, "home is where the heart is," even though somewhat laughable, reigns some truth. Home is a place where one is brought up, where you learn and develop into the person you eventually become. Since your home was a vital make up of most of you, some part will always be attached there.