Limitless air breathes
between layers of skin,
tingles, tickles of soft wind
brings a realization smile,
the layers are everywhere.
What lies beneath your skin?
Layers of muscle, nervous system, veins, arteries and bone.
What lies under the earth?
Layers of water, dirt, lava, molten rock, rock and more.
Layers are a part of us,
a part of every aspect of life,
you can only see them,
if you truly believe.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Friday, December 23, 2011
The Tribe
Our souls collide
under masses of twinkling stars-
the clouds came out
to greet wild eyes-
energies radiate in union.
The soul's song harmonizes
wistful bodies of all kind-
a grand illusion created by minds
clears all aliments of mankind-
saviors to each being in the Tribe.
under masses of twinkling stars-
the clouds came out
to greet wild eyes-
energies radiate in union.
The soul's song harmonizes
wistful bodies of all kind-
a grand illusion created by minds
clears all aliments of mankind-
saviors to each being in the Tribe.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
she's playing the game
what is the worry about men anyways?
I need to put on makeup
before he gets here,
oh wait, I can't wear this!
what shoes go with this?!
hair, hair, my hair!
shit!
it's a mess!
lotion, ASAP!
brush teeth, act nice,
normal, try to be normal.
smile, whoo, ok.
look hot? check.
butt looks good? awesome.
heels on with inserts.
hair down, straight. mmhm.
think I've got everything in my purse.
perfume! I almost forgot!
ding-dong.
oh crap, he's here already.
click-clank-click- clank-clank-crack.
fucking heels!
I think I did something
to my damn ankle!
fuck!
I'll just roll it around,
it'll be fine.
crank.
Hello darling!
"Hello."
He's smiling that smile,
good.I know I look damn good!
Won't you come in?
gotta turn around stylishly
so he can get a good look
at my ass!
grab some wine,
and get comfy in the livingroom
before we go out.
mmhmm, I'm so making him drool over me.
already feel the weight
of his stare, perfect.
Cab good for you?
"Perfect hun."
you betch your ass
it's perfect! you have no
idea what's in store for you mister.
lead him to the living room,
music! crap! I forgot to turn the
music on! I'll just play it off.
Would you like to listen
to some music darling?
"Sure."
put on some iron and wine.
hell yeah.
got to sit close enough
to him, but not too close.
game time.
I need to put on makeup
before he gets here,
oh wait, I can't wear this!
what shoes go with this?!
hair, hair, my hair!
shit!
it's a mess!
lotion, ASAP!
brush teeth, act nice,
normal, try to be normal.
smile, whoo, ok.
look hot? check.
butt looks good? awesome.
heels on with inserts.
hair down, straight. mmhm.
think I've got everything in my purse.
perfume! I almost forgot!
ding-dong.
oh crap, he's here already.
click-clank-click- clank-clank-crack.
fucking heels!
I think I did something
to my damn ankle!
fuck!
I'll just roll it around,
it'll be fine.
crank.
Hello darling!
"Hello."
He's smiling that smile,
good.I know I look damn good!
Won't you come in?
gotta turn around stylishly
so he can get a good look
at my ass!
grab some wine,
and get comfy in the livingroom
before we go out.
mmhmm, I'm so making him drool over me.
already feel the weight
of his stare, perfect.
Cab good for you?
"Perfect hun."
you betch your ass
it's perfect! you have no
idea what's in store for you mister.
lead him to the living room,
music! crap! I forgot to turn the
music on! I'll just play it off.
Would you like to listen
to some music darling?
"Sure."
put on some iron and wine.
hell yeah.
got to sit close enough
to him, but not too close.
game time.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
lower than seven feet under
Times in life,
the down is underground,
beneath the seven-foot grave
they dug her grandfather.
soul decays faster than body
when maggots feed from eye sockets,
emotions are as stale as
a year old cracker sitting
on an abandoned shelf.
the pain subsides with each
passing wind, carried
into the atmosphere,
eventually flocking down
in sheets of rain.
there is a want to believe
in salvation, happiness
of any form, but her soul
continues to break down
in the soil of feverish plenty,
beneath the seven foot grave
they dug for her grandfather.
the down is underground,
beneath the seven-foot grave
they dug her grandfather.
soul decays faster than body
when maggots feed from eye sockets,
emotions are as stale as
a year old cracker sitting
on an abandoned shelf.
the pain subsides with each
passing wind, carried
into the atmosphere,
eventually flocking down
in sheets of rain.
there is a want to believe
in salvation, happiness
of any form, but her soul
continues to break down
in the soil of feverish plenty,
beneath the seven foot grave
they dug for her grandfather.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
The Drive to Canada
Borrowed a hat
Along the Georgia-Florida state line,
A man was walking down the road
Pulled up and quietly asked,
"Do you need a ride?"
He shook his head slowly
But smiled in thanks,
Gave me his baseball hat
And kept walking.
The sun shone too brightly
Reflecting off timid eyes,
Strung the cap over head
Watched the road ahead start to cry,
Kept on driving through
Plymouths of tears,
Around mountain-sides and towns
Toward the destination expected,
Somewhere up high
Along the lines of Canada,
The only place where gravity
Still has impact on sullen feet.
Borrowed a hat
Along the Georia-Florida state line,
A man gave it to me
Right before I cried,
It was to keep the sun from
Spearing my pale eyes,
A reminder good still lingers
Among lustful sediment,
A push to keep me driving
North to my promised land.
Along the Georgia-Florida state line,
A man was walking down the road
Pulled up and quietly asked,
"Do you need a ride?"
He shook his head slowly
But smiled in thanks,
Gave me his baseball hat
And kept walking.
The sun shone too brightly
Reflecting off timid eyes,
Strung the cap over head
Watched the road ahead start to cry,
Kept on driving through
Plymouths of tears,
Around mountain-sides and towns
Toward the destination expected,
Somewhere up high
Along the lines of Canada,
The only place where gravity
Still has impact on sullen feet.
Borrowed a hat
Along the Georia-Florida state line,
A man gave it to me
Right before I cried,
It was to keep the sun from
Spearing my pale eyes,
A reminder good still lingers
Among lustful sediment,
A push to keep me driving
North to my promised land.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Once Lovers
You're not my lover anymore,
I dreamt you're no longer mine,
It made all reality more concrete
And I wept, for our future is no longer
So predictable or conscience.
You're still my lover evermore,
I dream you're still mine,
I hold you tight every night
And weep tears of joy for the past,
For love that could have been strong.
You're my friend till the end,
I know that love will prevail,
Though every other love has failed
And I'll be here from present till death,
A knot in your heart that will never be put to rest.
I dreamt you're no longer mine,
It made all reality more concrete
And I wept, for our future is no longer
So predictable or conscience.
You're still my lover evermore,
I dream you're still mine,
I hold you tight every night
And weep tears of joy for the past,
For love that could have been strong.
You're my friend till the end,
I know that love will prevail,
Though every other love has failed
And I'll be here from present till death,
A knot in your heart that will never be put to rest.
Presently, I am at my Worst
Mildly confused with a hint of stressful beckoning,
I begin the day at the dawn of midnight.
Sleep will not allow itself to overcome my being,
consequently I sit in a chair,
under soft yellow light illuminating from a bulb up above.
The Unicorns resonate from the computer's speakers,
bellowing life from the angle I feel it turning.
Wishful thinking leads me to want my soul out of my body,
there's still a tiny black hole inside
my humanity sucking happiness away.
Cigarette, oh beautiful joy save me!
The navy blue blanket in the sky pulls
the craving back inside the black hole
and inhibits my entire body.
ADHD draws me away-
I look at my hair curling into knots,
eyes darting, mind wandering
along the lengths of every bothersome
nuisance in life, bah humbug.
Unicorns come back into earshot,
twisting me off into the fate of life,
the decomposing of my brain
and all other organs that plan to fail.
I simply smile in spite of the future,
the past but mostly, the present.
I'll persistently lag on with a laugh,
for what else can one do
when laxidasical attitudes and
jumpy personalities wreck your day.
I begin the day at the dawn of midnight.
Sleep will not allow itself to overcome my being,
consequently I sit in a chair,
under soft yellow light illuminating from a bulb up above.
The Unicorns resonate from the computer's speakers,
bellowing life from the angle I feel it turning.
Wishful thinking leads me to want my soul out of my body,
there's still a tiny black hole inside
my humanity sucking happiness away.
Cigarette, oh beautiful joy save me!
The navy blue blanket in the sky pulls
the craving back inside the black hole
and inhibits my entire body.
ADHD draws me away-
I look at my hair curling into knots,
eyes darting, mind wandering
along the lengths of every bothersome
nuisance in life, bah humbug.
Unicorns come back into earshot,
twisting me off into the fate of life,
the decomposing of my brain
and all other organs that plan to fail.
I simply smile in spite of the future,
the past but mostly, the present.
I'll persistently lag on with a laugh,
for what else can one do
when laxidasical attitudes and
jumpy personalities wreck your day.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
too womanly
loose breasts emasculate
his member and their sons,
her body sways jovially-
he faints to his death.
his member and their sons,
her body sways jovially-
he faints to his death.
plastic wrap
the clear film transcends itself across the neck,
a soft inclination, a slight tug-
peel off slowly,
almost precisely.
skin leaps bounds across the open terrain
floundering about as though
thoughts caressed its gentle
cellophane atmosphere.
away it flies
as skin turns loose
toward the open sky,
carried only such
as a plastic bag is carried by the wind.
forever obedient by the earth,
the creator of it's thin, soluble existence
mastermound truth,
buried underneath layers of unshed skin.
a soft inclination, a slight tug-
peel off slowly,
almost precisely.
skin leaps bounds across the open terrain
floundering about as though
thoughts caressed its gentle
cellophane atmosphere.
away it flies
as skin turns loose
toward the open sky,
carried only such
as a plastic bag is carried by the wind.
forever obedient by the earth,
the creator of it's thin, soluble existence
mastermound truth,
buried underneath layers of unshed skin.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
you may not see everything i do
the wonders of life
stand in front of thine eye,
beauty beholds the perceiver
yet not always the beholder.
I found him laying on the grass
adjacent to his backyard lake,
sprawled out, both legs and arms,
reminiscent of a dead fish.
eyelids shut tight,
forming a shield from harsh sunlight,
mouth agape, dripping lines of saliva
across his white shirt.
the way the light reflects
off the still lake onto
his snow-white face
reminds me of when we first met-
many years ago.
then, he smiled and laughed constantly,
so much so he cheeks would ache.
now, the remainder of his human form
lays defenseless under noon rays.
his brows furrowed, in thought and agitation
give way to complex molecules at work.
I move closer, allowing my shadow
to caress his pained expression.
an eye peeps open, a smirk-like frown emerges.
one dimple appears,
(oh how ive taken such pleasure
in his dimples over the years)
such a beautiful sight to witness
upon such a sorry man.
he sighs and closes his eyes once more,
opens his palm and lets his fingers fall.
I crawl to his level,
put my hand inside his,
kissing his silent tears.
"I've arrived."
whispered I.
no vocal response,
simply a tiny hand squeeze.
his beauty is fading in his mind,
yet it blossoms from the inside-out
through mine.
beauty is what one makes it,
simple, yet powerful,
striking the unsuspecting soul
with the grand force of divinity.
stand in front of thine eye,
beauty beholds the perceiver
yet not always the beholder.
I found him laying on the grass
adjacent to his backyard lake,
sprawled out, both legs and arms,
reminiscent of a dead fish.
eyelids shut tight,
forming a shield from harsh sunlight,
mouth agape, dripping lines of saliva
across his white shirt.
the way the light reflects
off the still lake onto
his snow-white face
reminds me of when we first met-
many years ago.
then, he smiled and laughed constantly,
so much so he cheeks would ache.
now, the remainder of his human form
lays defenseless under noon rays.
his brows furrowed, in thought and agitation
give way to complex molecules at work.
I move closer, allowing my shadow
to caress his pained expression.
an eye peeps open, a smirk-like frown emerges.
one dimple appears,
(oh how ive taken such pleasure
in his dimples over the years)
such a beautiful sight to witness
upon such a sorry man.
he sighs and closes his eyes once more,
opens his palm and lets his fingers fall.
I crawl to his level,
put my hand inside his,
kissing his silent tears.
"I've arrived."
whispered I.
no vocal response,
simply a tiny hand squeeze.
his beauty is fading in his mind,
yet it blossoms from the inside-out
through mine.
beauty is what one makes it,
simple, yet powerful,
striking the unsuspecting soul
with the grand force of divinity.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
The Present Happenings Have Changed Your Future
See anything different in your present tense?
Expression changes directly.
Lock eyes at instant greet,
smile confidently as
the hue of rose warms your face.
What shall consist in your next move?
A slight pause.
Open your mouth,
a gesture of conversation
along with other instincts.
You hold your arm out toward her,
handshake per chance?
Accompanied by a floppy "Hello".
Smiles' spread across mutual lips,
butterflies flutter furiously
the touch of a finger arouses basic instincts.
Shall you kiss her?
Not before she pounces.
Tigress of the night,
wraps her smooth lips around your tongue,
legs coil like a vine growing on a tree.
Will you rise to the occasion?
Ride home with her.
Walk for three hours,
strolling about town in a
lazy search for the misplaced vehicle.
Was it worth it?
Absolutely.
She smokes cigarettes all night,
you swoon with the guitar,
some magic begins to unfold.
Your mind is void of questions.
It is warm laying next to her
on this October night,
beautiful as it's crisp wind.
Could it be love?
You have not considered such a possibility.
Yet she loves you,
she knew that first night
it burns in the depths of destined souls.
Shall their love endure?
Always.
Whether it be friendly or romantic,
their love is a rare breed-
one that shall remain immortal.
Expression changes directly.
Lock eyes at instant greet,
smile confidently as
the hue of rose warms your face.
What shall consist in your next move?
A slight pause.
Open your mouth,
a gesture of conversation
along with other instincts.
You hold your arm out toward her,
handshake per chance?
Accompanied by a floppy "Hello".
Smiles' spread across mutual lips,
butterflies flutter furiously
the touch of a finger arouses basic instincts.
Shall you kiss her?
Not before she pounces.
Tigress of the night,
wraps her smooth lips around your tongue,
legs coil like a vine growing on a tree.
Will you rise to the occasion?
Ride home with her.
Walk for three hours,
strolling about town in a
lazy search for the misplaced vehicle.
Was it worth it?
Absolutely.
She smokes cigarettes all night,
you swoon with the guitar,
some magic begins to unfold.
Your mind is void of questions.
It is warm laying next to her
on this October night,
beautiful as it's crisp wind.
Could it be love?
You have not considered such a possibility.
Yet she loves you,
she knew that first night
it burns in the depths of destined souls.
Shall their love endure?
Always.
Whether it be friendly or romantic,
their love is a rare breed-
one that shall remain immortal.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
How the Quiet Air Beseeches Me
A still quiet lingers in the air,
Gentle as a lover's touch-
so light on the skin but heavy in the heart.
Initiate not a sound
amougst delicate critters
Their translucent shells cannot withstand
even the slightest blow from the wind.
Softness emancipates itself around
barrels of skin,
Channeling a sense of peace:
soul through mind.
Be wary that quietness prevails
Swiftly as the northern wind-
a short symphony of extreme rarity.
Gentle as a lover's touch-
so light on the skin but heavy in the heart.
Initiate not a sound
amougst delicate critters
Their translucent shells cannot withstand
even the slightest blow from the wind.
Softness emancipates itself around
barrels of skin,
Channeling a sense of peace:
soul through mind.
Be wary that quietness prevails
Swiftly as the northern wind-
a short symphony of extreme rarity.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Sunrise
Purple as the velvet night,
webbed stockings crawl up her thigh,
resting their elastic band
around a pouty, cream waist.
Blue curtains draw to a close,
masking the theatrical event
occurring in between her meaty legs.
She walks to the open window,
bare-breasted in the navy blue mini-skirt,
cars whisk by the nearby road
wheeling a cold rush of air through
the web around her garden.
Autumn breeze reaches her
pink-painted lips, cracking them into a smile.
waterfalls of green silk splash
upon her crisp pale skin,
evening light blesses her forehead
while moving toward the other side of the world.
nightfall begins its ascent,
the first star in pink hazy sky,
she blows a kiss, slips
red flats on her feet,
and floats to meet Love.
woven under purple thread
lies a most beautiful sunset,
waiting to rise on the other side of the world.
webbed stockings crawl up her thigh,
resting their elastic band
around a pouty, cream waist.
Blue curtains draw to a close,
masking the theatrical event
occurring in between her meaty legs.
She walks to the open window,
bare-breasted in the navy blue mini-skirt,
cars whisk by the nearby road
wheeling a cold rush of air through
the web around her garden.
Autumn breeze reaches her
pink-painted lips, cracking them into a smile.
waterfalls of green silk splash
upon her crisp pale skin,
evening light blesses her forehead
while moving toward the other side of the world.
nightfall begins its ascent,
the first star in pink hazy sky,
she blows a kiss, slips
red flats on her feet,
and floats to meet Love.
woven under purple thread
lies a most beautiful sunset,
waiting to rise on the other side of the world.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Another One About Loneliness
Welling up inside my soul
It comes as a blank stare.
Loneliness fills the empty space
I expand in.
Can you leave me be, rather,
Stay, please, stay;
My heart is heavy and
Tears fall out of my ducts
Through the depths of my chest.
I cannot sleep
Atop a cold bed each night.
You are the key to my loneliness!
End my restlessness,
Set my soul free from it's
Self-burdening funk,
Before I become just another drunk.
It comes as a blank stare.
Loneliness fills the empty space
I expand in.
Can you leave me be, rather,
Stay, please, stay;
My heart is heavy and
Tears fall out of my ducts
Through the depths of my chest.
I cannot sleep
Atop a cold bed each night.
You are the key to my loneliness!
End my restlessness,
Set my soul free from it's
Self-burdening funk,
Before I become just another drunk.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Oh! My Magical Smoke
the grey gravy pours
out into the moon-lit light,
gracefully antagonizing the surrounding earth,
choking the necks of virginal creatures.
Alas!
You speek of the smoke
as it gently seduces those
gullible children of Eden.
Enrapture them,
Oh creatures of lucidity!
Wrap yourselves around my skin,
guide me toward your knowledge.
Your conscience illuminates ghostly shapes
through my mind, an inkling,
Love at first sight.
Please exist forever...
out into the moon-lit light,
gracefully antagonizing the surrounding earth,
choking the necks of virginal creatures.
Alas!
You speek of the smoke
as it gently seduces those
gullible children of Eden.
Enrapture them,
Oh creatures of lucidity!
Wrap yourselves around my skin,
guide me toward your knowledge.
Your conscience illuminates ghostly shapes
through my mind, an inkling,
Love at first sight.
Please exist forever...
Monday, August 29, 2011
Reality summons eternity
Surrounding images that form,
Youthful minds project loss-
Loss of innocence
.........
It is my birthday tomorrow. Not just any birthday but my 21st. The day I become an adult. The day I am officially old enough to drink alcohol legally.
My ex-boyfriend, still best friend and still love of my life was supposed to come for my birthday. He tends to flake on me since we broke up, however I was really hoping he would make it for my special day. Apparently, it's not that special to him.
I sit here, depressed, alone, mildly drunk, the day before I can drink legally; tormented with thoughts of a man I cannot simply let go. He invades my being- a feeling, a notion, I know will never fully release from me.
Wishful thinking that I could put him aside. It is not difficult to be attracted to other men, however, it is difficult knowing that those men will not magically transform into my love when I kiss them.
Falling in love, not just love but the love that one KNOWS is eternal, completely fucks one up.
How does she know and he not? How pure their love was...so innocent, so new, so beautiful. Their love was one of those that a person hopes their entire life they will experience. Maybe it is not meant to last forever, but I must admit I have waited for love to reveal itself to me since I was five years old, and it finally has in full force, but after only nine months he denied me. We denied each other. He decided I was crazy. I decided it was time for me to seek personal help.
I am changing. He is moving away, emotionally. I am pulling him back to the best of my ability. I love him. I know he loves me. Yet there is not much we can do about this relationship we've created.
I put on a smile every day. I am o.k. Yet I am deteriorating without the love of my life. I truly believe he is my soulmate. I also truly believe we need time apart. Yet I still am attached.
Surrounding images that form,
Youthful minds project loss-
Loss of innocence
.........
It is my birthday tomorrow. Not just any birthday but my 21st. The day I become an adult. The day I am officially old enough to drink alcohol legally.
My ex-boyfriend, still best friend and still love of my life was supposed to come for my birthday. He tends to flake on me since we broke up, however I was really hoping he would make it for my special day. Apparently, it's not that special to him.
I sit here, depressed, alone, mildly drunk, the day before I can drink legally; tormented with thoughts of a man I cannot simply let go. He invades my being- a feeling, a notion, I know will never fully release from me.
Wishful thinking that I could put him aside. It is not difficult to be attracted to other men, however, it is difficult knowing that those men will not magically transform into my love when I kiss them.
Falling in love, not just love but the love that one KNOWS is eternal, completely fucks one up.
How does she know and he not? How pure their love was...so innocent, so new, so beautiful. Their love was one of those that a person hopes their entire life they will experience. Maybe it is not meant to last forever, but I must admit I have waited for love to reveal itself to me since I was five years old, and it finally has in full force, but after only nine months he denied me. We denied each other. He decided I was crazy. I decided it was time for me to seek personal help.
I am changing. He is moving away, emotionally. I am pulling him back to the best of my ability. I love him. I know he loves me. Yet there is not much we can do about this relationship we've created.
I put on a smile every day. I am o.k. Yet I am deteriorating without the love of my life. I truly believe he is my soulmate. I also truly believe we need time apart. Yet I still am attached.
She is the Reason He is Gone
She grows from her mind,
Ideas blossoming gloom...
He calls her crazy,
Views her suicidal streak as insanity.
She hangs by her own limb,
His verdict eating at her conscience...
He loved her, stands by her but
Her breakdowns drove him away.
She falls into her self-hatred,
Hatred for the decisions she has made...
Pushing him away.
Ideas blossoming gloom...
He calls her crazy,
Views her suicidal streak as insanity.
She hangs by her own limb,
His verdict eating at her conscience...
He loved her, stands by her but
Her breakdowns drove him away.
She falls into her self-hatred,
Hatred for the decisions she has made...
Pushing him away.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
It Sure Would be Nice to Marry a Prince
Move closer to the eye's light.
Sun dances across the pupil,
A rainbow's midst lands upon your skin.
Magnificent in pure simplicity, yet ,
Coated with the reality of fairytales.
Sun dances across the pupil,
A rainbow's midst lands upon your skin.
Magnificent in pure simplicity, yet ,
Coated with the reality of fairytales.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
write what's right
I made you a drawing last night,
The moment simply felt right
Through my hand and not my sight
Creations grew to light,
Jumbled between your plight
And my human rite,
The existing emotion reigns fright,
Pulling around me a tight
Fury relating to your bite,
Though I just might
Be quite alright.
The moment simply felt right
Through my hand and not my sight
Creations grew to light,
Jumbled between your plight
And my human rite,
The existing emotion reigns fright,
Pulling around me a tight
Fury relating to your bite,
Though I just might
Be quite alright.
4 is for Whores
Day number four,
Number of days you whore
Taken by its newness,
No need to confess
Such conventional sins
Since they add as wins.
Number of days you whore
Taken by its newness,
No need to confess
Such conventional sins
Since they add as wins.
Your Chaste Nature Makes Me Feel Pure
Boasting.
Your new conceit.
Freedom is just the medicine
needed for complete removal of your morals.
Pretend I do not exist,
All will dissolve with our relationship.
Tell the world of your lustful trials,
Attract loose girls to loosen you up
Rather than get the job done yourself.
What a mastermind of manipulation!
Cunning and deceitful in the most innocent of ways.
Say you only do these things for common good-
For me, for you, for our future.
Yet the gain of power feeds to reckless behavior,
inhabiting even the most noble of men.
Your new conceit.
Freedom is just the medicine
needed for complete removal of your morals.
Pretend I do not exist,
All will dissolve with our relationship.
Tell the world of your lustful trials,
Attract loose girls to loosen you up
Rather than get the job done yourself.
What a mastermind of manipulation!
Cunning and deceitful in the most innocent of ways.
Say you only do these things for common good-
For me, for you, for our future.
Yet the gain of power feeds to reckless behavior,
inhabiting even the most noble of men.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
hitting the bottle for one reason or another
So the drinking begins,
quickly for there is little to be spent
and much want for inebriation.
Trying to forget and once more,
the cycler appears,
racing down that familiar path.
She stops every now and then to listen
to words in her mind.
And up pops the cup!
Down pours the booze,
a sly awakening is in tune.
That familiar warmth, cheeks aglow,
forgetting is setting in
to defeat her foe.
Fertile with longing, relaxed in pain
they are the reasons
the bottle will drain.
quickly for there is little to be spent
and much want for inebriation.
Trying to forget and once more,
the cycler appears,
racing down that familiar path.
She stops every now and then to listen
to words in her mind.
And up pops the cup!
Down pours the booze,
a sly awakening is in tune.
That familiar warmth, cheeks aglow,
forgetting is setting in
to defeat her foe.
Fertile with longing, relaxed in pain
they are the reasons
the bottle will drain.
my fucking love is like a fucking camp fire
the burden clings
like a small fire clings to survival,
growing and shrinking but always present.
Yearning, wondering, parasitic,
lurking in the back of the mind
eating decayed matter.
Fight the need, the obsession, the love-
yet it lingers mercilessly,
gnawing on each organ with pleasure.
Sickness overcomes the body,
happiness fades when
thoughts of the lost lover enter once again.
this fire, this small pitiful fire
burns incessantly and shall never die out.
like a small fire clings to survival,
growing and shrinking but always present.
Yearning, wondering, parasitic,
lurking in the back of the mind
eating decayed matter.
Fight the need, the obsession, the love-
yet it lingers mercilessly,
gnawing on each organ with pleasure.
Sickness overcomes the body,
happiness fades when
thoughts of the lost lover enter once again.
this fire, this small pitiful fire
burns incessantly and shall never die out.
the continuous piercing pain
shards of glass position themselves
carefully into my spine,
one by one sinking deeply into my atmosphere,
the pain, prevalent,
it whispers words of horror,
infiltrating my thoughts in rays of darkness.
They had once never existed,
yet as I roll along
pieces of glass and dirt accumulate on my skin,
piercing my pain into it's source.
A cry from the gut,
glass has gone too deep,
alas my heart is at rest
for nothing will hurt me again
so long as this shard
stays locked in my chest.
a grin sweeps across my pale face,
blood coats my hands,
all is peaceful and white
moment of laughter gives way,
I am free.
carefully into my spine,
one by one sinking deeply into my atmosphere,
the pain, prevalent,
it whispers words of horror,
infiltrating my thoughts in rays of darkness.
They had once never existed,
yet as I roll along
pieces of glass and dirt accumulate on my skin,
piercing my pain into it's source.
A cry from the gut,
glass has gone too deep,
alas my heart is at rest
for nothing will hurt me again
so long as this shard
stays locked in my chest.
a grin sweeps across my pale face,
blood coats my hands,
all is peaceful and white
moment of laughter gives way,
I am free.
Monday, July 11, 2011
letting go
the air blows sarcastic humor
as it whispers in my ear, I feel the weight
of its breadth, each sigh
burdens my mind with the past,
hear me cling to the words,
hear my pathetic nature,
listen and move on.
as it whispers in my ear, I feel the weight
of its breadth, each sigh
burdens my mind with the past,
hear me cling to the words,
hear my pathetic nature,
listen and move on.
a wish from a failure
silence enraptures the soul,
feet tucked under a messy blanket
striving to keep from the unbearable cold,
fight thoughts with actions-
slowly close the moment with one word of thought,
behind the velvet curtain lies
the bearer of every burden-
shout: "Away with you!"
and a warmth of love carries you away
into bright open fields of opportunity.
feet tucked under a messy blanket
striving to keep from the unbearable cold,
fight thoughts with actions-
slowly close the moment with one word of thought,
behind the velvet curtain lies
the bearer of every burden-
shout: "Away with you!"
and a warmth of love carries you away
into bright open fields of opportunity.
u
unexpectedly you walked into my life
without my consent,
You dined me, swooned me,
bore me through a legend
only storybooks have told.
Over my head
you threw me gently,
your touch like that of flower petals
brushing my thigh.
away you plowed, right through my root,
planted your seed and watched it grow-
blossoming a beautiful being inside of me.
where does it stop?
this ever-present life form
crawls and crumbles between my nerve-endings,
charging my neurons erotically, erratically.
how easily you stole me when no other could,
a sudden push, face-down in the dirt
sprung this unimaginable, un-fortifiable child-
You.
without my consent,
You dined me, swooned me,
bore me through a legend
only storybooks have told.
Over my head
you threw me gently,
your touch like that of flower petals
brushing my thigh.
away you plowed, right through my root,
planted your seed and watched it grow-
blossoming a beautiful being inside of me.
where does it stop?
this ever-present life form
crawls and crumbles between my nerve-endings,
charging my neurons erotically, erratically.
how easily you stole me when no other could,
a sudden push, face-down in the dirt
sprung this unimaginable, un-fortifiable child-
You.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
How She Appears
How quickly she moves through this anger...
How easily she hurts, yet for good reasons,
How confused and saddened is her soul-
Lost in a rage of emotion.
Her skin boils from heat and humiliation,
How obsessed she must seem,
What his brother may think,
Why does he do this...
How easily she hurts, yet for good reasons,
How confused and saddened is her soul-
Lost in a rage of emotion.
Her skin boils from heat and humiliation,
How obsessed she must seem,
What his brother may think,
Why does he do this...
Sent to Voicemail
Anger turns from sold spite
To a welling of tears,
Every moment unattended leaves
A bitter heart to weep.
She drove so far to see him,
Worked all day,
Got off late,
Drove frantically to him,
And he was not there.
No answer when she called,
No reply for over an hour,
And now she sits here, in his domain,
Alone in herself, angered with despair.
A special occasion this day is,
Yet she is here and not he,
It is not meaningful without he,
Where is he?
He does not answer, he will not reply!
Oh the sadness that erupts
Inside her worn being,
All she wanted was him,
All she recieved is emptiness.
To a welling of tears,
Every moment unattended leaves
A bitter heart to weep.
She drove so far to see him,
Worked all day,
Got off late,
Drove frantically to him,
And he was not there.
No answer when she called,
No reply for over an hour,
And now she sits here, in his domain,
Alone in herself, angered with despair.
A special occasion this day is,
Yet she is here and not he,
It is not meaningful without he,
Where is he?
He does not answer, he will not reply!
Oh the sadness that erupts
Inside her worn being,
All she wanted was him,
All she recieved is emptiness.
Disappointed Anger
Anger pours out of my soul,
Flocking as a pack of villians
Amongst every nerve;
Face grows hot,
Lips curl smitefully,
Disappoint fuels this anger;
It does not tear at the heart
Nor weep bitterly,
This anger drives a speeding car,
Racing down the highway,
in search of anything to make roadkill;
A frightful anger this proves to be,
It's existence derived from unaware antics.
Flocking as a pack of villians
Amongst every nerve;
Face grows hot,
Lips curl smitefully,
Disappoint fuels this anger;
It does not tear at the heart
Nor weep bitterly,
This anger drives a speeding car,
Racing down the highway,
in search of anything to make roadkill;
A frightful anger this proves to be,
It's existence derived from unaware antics.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Itchy Brain
I have an little itch bothering my brain;
Try to reach it through the scalp,
Pull a q-tip through the ear canal,
Try another up the nose-
No use.
Incessant itching irks my mind,
But how to relinquish this terrible annoyance?
Attempt to think it away,
A seemingly brilliant idea which backfires,
The itching becomes worse!
Terrible tiny needles prick my noggin,
It overcomes the entire space inside the head,
I shout, I scream!
For the itch has grown too monumental to bear,
Unbearable fire ants feel as if they bite
Each crevice of the brain,
So painful it swells larger than it's holding chamber--
POP!
Mini atomic bomb blows the itch,
And head away.
Try to reach it through the scalp,
Pull a q-tip through the ear canal,
Try another up the nose-
No use.
Incessant itching irks my mind,
But how to relinquish this terrible annoyance?
Attempt to think it away,
A seemingly brilliant idea which backfires,
The itching becomes worse!
Terrible tiny needles prick my noggin,
It overcomes the entire space inside the head,
I shout, I scream!
For the itch has grown too monumental to bear,
Unbearable fire ants feel as if they bite
Each crevice of the brain,
So painful it swells larger than it's holding chamber--
POP!
Mini atomic bomb blows the itch,
And head away.
Two Brown Circles
Two brown spots
Lay flatly atop
Her superficial jaw skin.
Itch, scratch, peel, bleed.
Two brown dots
Exude alien-like
Qualities among onlookers.
Deformed, experimental, tragic.
Two brown eyes
Search the Earth's souls
To tempt and mislead.
Easy, attractive, sinful.
Lay flatly atop
Her superficial jaw skin.
Itch, scratch, peel, bleed.
Two brown dots
Exude alien-like
Qualities among onlookers.
Deformed, experimental, tragic.
Two brown eyes
Search the Earth's souls
To tempt and mislead.
Easy, attractive, sinful.
Time (and this theory) May or May Not Make Sense
time travel has been at our fingertips from the beginning of 'time.'
Say you are traveling in a car A, going 45 miles an hour. Car B is traveling to and from the exact same place as you except they are going 75 miles an hour. Car B arrives at the destination first because he traveled through space at a faster rate, essentially he traveled through time at a slower rate (if you count how many spare minutes he had once he arrived at the destination), at a faster rate. Point being, we are constantly traveling through time, some faster than others. (and that's how you fit 60 hours work weeks into your schedule).
Say you are traveling in a car A, going 45 miles an hour. Car B is traveling to and from the exact same place as you except they are going 75 miles an hour. Car B arrives at the destination first because he traveled through space at a faster rate, essentially he traveled through time at a slower rate (if you count how many spare minutes he had once he arrived at the destination), at a faster rate. Point being, we are constantly traveling through time, some faster than others. (and that's how you fit 60 hours work weeks into your schedule).
Sunday, May 1, 2011
How the ocean waves
collide with the Sun's rays,
A beautiful sight
Or simply nature's plight
Toward some thing bigger,
Bigger than beauty,
Deeper than superficial visions,
See the sea meet sky-
Such angelic forces collide,
More perfectly than matching puzzle pieces,
It ignites such a movement
Of mind one sways with sober
Drunkenness at the wonders of this
World and the next, or the next to come,
So many speculations,
So many wild truths,
Become apart of us-
The one being that separated itself
From its homeland;
A call home, it beseeches us,
Grandly yet subtly...
collide with the Sun's rays,
A beautiful sight
Or simply nature's plight
Toward some thing bigger,
Bigger than beauty,
Deeper than superficial visions,
See the sea meet sky-
Such angelic forces collide,
More perfectly than matching puzzle pieces,
It ignites such a movement
Of mind one sways with sober
Drunkenness at the wonders of this
World and the next, or the next to come,
So many speculations,
So many wild truths,
Become apart of us-
The one being that separated itself
From its homeland;
A call home, it beseeches us,
Grandly yet subtly...
Monday, April 4, 2011
One Way to Remember Spring Break Trip 2011
The week of March 28, 2011 was Spring Break week for Nick Glass, which I graciously took off from work so I could enjoy some time off.
: Friday and Saturday were very chill days spent at Eckerd, where we smoked and drank a little. I was anxious, Nick was relaxed and happy, but it wasn't bad, just a bit boring to a busy-minded me.
: We went to the beach on Sunday in St. Petersburg, FL, it was a beautiful day. We found a more remote spot and toked, took a dip in the cold ocean and laid out under the warm sun.
: Monday was a rainy day. I took Nick to Clearwater beach for the first time, we sat on a bench as the wind and dark clouds rolled over-head, basking in our young love. We toyed with the idea of leaving for Auburn early, but I had made plans with Aunt Lisa to get into Busch Gardens on Tuesday so we were stuck until Wednesday.
: Tuesday- We made our way to the theme park around 10am and stayed until closing time, which was around 7pm. Nick and I had so much fun Tuesday, we rode most the roller coasters, saw a show, saw all the animals and went into some shops.
The start of the real journey
: Wedneday-the afternoon we left for Rome, Georgia. Nick and I argued about where to go, but I agreed to go stay with his parents with him since he wanted to go so badly. We got there around 9 or 10pm, and it wasn't as awkward as I had imagined. The weather was lovely, nippy with no humidity. I felt right at home. We drank the night we got there, watched Cold Comfort Farm and slept wonderfully.
: Thursday was not quite as nice. We hung out in the house until after dinner because we had to wait for a Rat terminator to come. We watched Muppets and read magazines. I discovered this amazing magazine called Real Simple Solutions. (AMAZING HOUSEKEEPING BOOK!)and then started drinking before dinner because we planned on going to Jefferson's. However, his parents came home on our way out, so as they were cooking we threw tomahawks, and got into a little tiff when Nick pushed my back with his foot. Dinner was a bit awkward but then we took mix drinks downtown to drink around town. That is where things got sticky. Nick and I were talking in the car and he admitted he was planning on breaking up with me after Spring Break. He felt I was being too attached and wasn't being my own person, all-in-all too dependable. He also mentioned that he felt he was falling out of love. I was hurt, very hurt and doubly so since I was very intoxicated. I got terribly mad, stormed off, called Katie and she coached me, telling me that I am an independent woman, I don't need him and to drive off and not turn back. I couldn't because I was drunk but I did a great job of not talking to him, and asked for the car keys back. I told him I am a Strong Independent Woman and did not need him or any man to define me, along with many other self-realizing comments. I was about to make him walk home but I couldn't remember how to get back to his house, so I picked him up off the sidewalk as he was walking so I could get back. I was going to pack up and leave but when we got back and Nick loaded my bag in the car, I fell asleep in the driver's seat. I eventually woke up, went in the house and was confronted by him in the basement. We talked and he was amazed at my strength. I decided to stay with him solely because I knew I could survive without him. If I couldn't have I would have to be working on myself and shouldn't be in a relationship but thankfully that was not the case.
: Friday, we went to eat at Jefferson's this burger joint in downtown Rome and then hit up this little bookstore we discovered during our last visit to the city. I bought some killer books: Cold Mountain, Playboy Bartenders Book, Bad Girls Guide to Roadtripping and something else. NIck and I went to dinner at Las Pamas with Mr. Glass that night, then made our way to Auburn.
Off to Auburn
: Friday- we arrive around 10:30 or 11pm. Drop our stuff off at River's, smoke a bowl with him and drink a bit. Then I took Nick to the Independent, Daniel was working so I got in as 21. We met up with Katie, Katie's bf and Sawyer. Sawyer was the drunkest I've ever seen her. (I also got to see Rocky!) It was TKO night, so the Indy was popping with a bunch of Southern preps. We stayed until 2 (or 3), whenever closing time was. Katie mentioned an after party at the Exchange, so I took Nick to the Exchange. I didn't know where the party was but we walked around until I spotted the largest sections of cars and targeted the party. We were on the way up the stairs when the owner of the apartment waltzed down and invited us to the party. Apparently, White Noise was there playing, but I did not and still don't believe it was actually him, because I have seen him before and he was a significantly better DJ. I saw Topher, Gerry's friend there and he smoked us out on straight Sativa. Woot Woot! Then passed out at River's.
: Saturday- We woke up fairly early, 10ish maybe. I wanted Nick to get as much of an "Auburn experience" as possible. I took him to eat at Big Blue Bagel, we got Bagel sandwiches. Yummy. This was proceeded by the full Auburn University tour. I took him around campus, by the stadium, to places I used to eat, walk and think. We laid on the grass outside to enjoy the beauty around us. On this grand walk, I saw a sign for (a free) Earth Fest, which happened to be going on that day. I remembered my friend Scott had mentioned it to me at the Indy but had forgotten about it until the sign popped up at 2pm. We texted for directions and ended up across the President's house at this blooming garden that I had taken some Sorority pictures at my freshman year in college. We breathed in it's life, how beautiful it was, for ten minutes or so then continued on our journey to the Auborium where the Fest was taking place. We heard music from the garden and followed it to this wonderful wood near the President's house that I had never known existed. There were three stages where music was being played, and we enjoyed two stages. I saw Kenny and found out his band played at 3, which we stayed to see. We also ran into Clayton, River, Austin and that whole crew, and later Emma and Benson which was awesome. We wandered away a couple hours later to find refuge at a restaurant, but not before stopping at River's so I could change (since my right boob part of my dress was ripping terribly) and toke. After sufficing the craving to be high and restock the flask I directed Nick to Little Italy, this small hole-in-the-wall Italian place. I saw my friend Laz there, who still works there apparently and found out about some music thing going on downtown. Kenny texted me after that telling me of a rave near the Strutting Duck, so we planned on the rave. We spiked our drinks while waiting to eat, pigged out then drove to the parking lot outside where the Strutting Duck (now the Ole Auburn Alehouse) and took and hour and a half nap. After so we drifted inside the tavern got ourselves non-alcoholic beverages which we were praised for by the bartenders by not having to pay for them. However, we spiked those free chasers the moment we slipped into a private booth. I met Shawn Ikner and did a little sale, after which Nick and I headed over to the rave. There, a whole new day took place.
The Rave (the sort-of-rave that turned out to be insanely fun): Just arriving there we were welcomed graciously by Kenny, who generously told us about 3 for $1 jello shots. BINGO. Nick and I held off for maybe 20 minutes before buying two rounds of three shots. 20 minutes later or so, we ordered another double round of three. Oh yummy! We were still sipping on our mix drinks and smoking cigs and socializing like newly hatched butterflies. My how wonderful it was. There we ran into River and Austin again. Along with Topher. I saw Heather and Drew some of my friends from sophomore year, met these cool people Drew and Lesley, ran into ______, who doesn't even live in Auburn anymore and also saw Jimmy. Nick was able to meet all these people from my past which weighed perfectly with me. I talked of going streaking, recruited 5 people- Nick, Me, Lesley, Drew (just met) and some giant black dude, but it was too cold and there were too few of us to keep warm. Nick and I danced, I put highlighter all over Drew Cool Man, Nick and Lesley, peed a bunch and bought and drank more jello shots with Topher. Near the end of the party, we decided to follow Lesley back to her place, where Drew Cool Man and a couple others were going to be (Heather and this dude Corey that I swear I know from a previous situation came later). We drank some more in there, listened to music, attempted to play a card game and passed out.
: Sunday- Nick and I woke up at Lesley's around 7am, snuck out and snuck back into River's for some more shut eye. Woke up at 9am to a text from my mother, "Where are you at?" Ignore, back to sleep. 10am, moseyed around River's toking and dressing. Packed the car, and left for the last restaurant I would take Nick on this trip, Mama Goldberg's. Got the Mama's chips and two Mama's Loves. Mmmmm, delicious! And with that, we started our trip back to Tampa. An 8 hour trip that took 17 hours, because we took a 5 hour nap an hour or two out of Tampa and a 4 hour nap on Bearss Ave., which is thirty minutes from my home due to tired stoner habits.
: Monday- Made it to Tampa around 9am, what a journey. We drove slow and carefree, totally relaxed and no rushing back to the God-forsaken land of Florida. So here I am, on this Monday night, recounting the wonderful time Nick and I spent together on this learning and growing adventure.
: Friday and Saturday were very chill days spent at Eckerd, where we smoked and drank a little. I was anxious, Nick was relaxed and happy, but it wasn't bad, just a bit boring to a busy-minded me.
: We went to the beach on Sunday in St. Petersburg, FL, it was a beautiful day. We found a more remote spot and toked, took a dip in the cold ocean and laid out under the warm sun.
: Monday was a rainy day. I took Nick to Clearwater beach for the first time, we sat on a bench as the wind and dark clouds rolled over-head, basking in our young love. We toyed with the idea of leaving for Auburn early, but I had made plans with Aunt Lisa to get into Busch Gardens on Tuesday so we were stuck until Wednesday.
: Tuesday- We made our way to the theme park around 10am and stayed until closing time, which was around 7pm. Nick and I had so much fun Tuesday, we rode most the roller coasters, saw a show, saw all the animals and went into some shops.
The start of the real journey
: Wedneday-the afternoon we left for Rome, Georgia. Nick and I argued about where to go, but I agreed to go stay with his parents with him since he wanted to go so badly. We got there around 9 or 10pm, and it wasn't as awkward as I had imagined. The weather was lovely, nippy with no humidity. I felt right at home. We drank the night we got there, watched Cold Comfort Farm and slept wonderfully.
: Thursday was not quite as nice. We hung out in the house until after dinner because we had to wait for a Rat terminator to come. We watched Muppets and read magazines. I discovered this amazing magazine called Real Simple Solutions. (AMAZING HOUSEKEEPING BOOK!)and then started drinking before dinner because we planned on going to Jefferson's. However, his parents came home on our way out, so as they were cooking we threw tomahawks, and got into a little tiff when Nick pushed my back with his foot. Dinner was a bit awkward but then we took mix drinks downtown to drink around town. That is where things got sticky. Nick and I were talking in the car and he admitted he was planning on breaking up with me after Spring Break. He felt I was being too attached and wasn't being my own person, all-in-all too dependable. He also mentioned that he felt he was falling out of love. I was hurt, very hurt and doubly so since I was very intoxicated. I got terribly mad, stormed off, called Katie and she coached me, telling me that I am an independent woman, I don't need him and to drive off and not turn back. I couldn't because I was drunk but I did a great job of not talking to him, and asked for the car keys back. I told him I am a Strong Independent Woman and did not need him or any man to define me, along with many other self-realizing comments. I was about to make him walk home but I couldn't remember how to get back to his house, so I picked him up off the sidewalk as he was walking so I could get back. I was going to pack up and leave but when we got back and Nick loaded my bag in the car, I fell asleep in the driver's seat. I eventually woke up, went in the house and was confronted by him in the basement. We talked and he was amazed at my strength. I decided to stay with him solely because I knew I could survive without him. If I couldn't have I would have to be working on myself and shouldn't be in a relationship but thankfully that was not the case.
: Friday, we went to eat at Jefferson's this burger joint in downtown Rome and then hit up this little bookstore we discovered during our last visit to the city. I bought some killer books: Cold Mountain, Playboy Bartenders Book, Bad Girls Guide to Roadtripping and something else. NIck and I went to dinner at Las Pamas with Mr. Glass that night, then made our way to Auburn.
Off to Auburn
: Friday- we arrive around 10:30 or 11pm. Drop our stuff off at River's, smoke a bowl with him and drink a bit. Then I took Nick to the Independent, Daniel was working so I got in as 21. We met up with Katie, Katie's bf and Sawyer. Sawyer was the drunkest I've ever seen her. (I also got to see Rocky!) It was TKO night, so the Indy was popping with a bunch of Southern preps. We stayed until 2 (or 3), whenever closing time was. Katie mentioned an after party at the Exchange, so I took Nick to the Exchange. I didn't know where the party was but we walked around until I spotted the largest sections of cars and targeted the party. We were on the way up the stairs when the owner of the apartment waltzed down and invited us to the party. Apparently, White Noise was there playing, but I did not and still don't believe it was actually him, because I have seen him before and he was a significantly better DJ. I saw Topher, Gerry's friend there and he smoked us out on straight Sativa. Woot Woot! Then passed out at River's.
: Saturday- We woke up fairly early, 10ish maybe. I wanted Nick to get as much of an "Auburn experience" as possible. I took him to eat at Big Blue Bagel, we got Bagel sandwiches. Yummy. This was proceeded by the full Auburn University tour. I took him around campus, by the stadium, to places I used to eat, walk and think. We laid on the grass outside to enjoy the beauty around us. On this grand walk, I saw a sign for (a free) Earth Fest, which happened to be going on that day. I remembered my friend Scott had mentioned it to me at the Indy but had forgotten about it until the sign popped up at 2pm. We texted for directions and ended up across the President's house at this blooming garden that I had taken some Sorority pictures at my freshman year in college. We breathed in it's life, how beautiful it was, for ten minutes or so then continued on our journey to the Auborium where the Fest was taking place. We heard music from the garden and followed it to this wonderful wood near the President's house that I had never known existed. There were three stages where music was being played, and we enjoyed two stages. I saw Kenny and found out his band played at 3, which we stayed to see. We also ran into Clayton, River, Austin and that whole crew, and later Emma and Benson which was awesome. We wandered away a couple hours later to find refuge at a restaurant, but not before stopping at River's so I could change (since my right boob part of my dress was ripping terribly) and toke. After sufficing the craving to be high and restock the flask I directed Nick to Little Italy, this small hole-in-the-wall Italian place. I saw my friend Laz there, who still works there apparently and found out about some music thing going on downtown. Kenny texted me after that telling me of a rave near the Strutting Duck, so we planned on the rave. We spiked our drinks while waiting to eat, pigged out then drove to the parking lot outside where the Strutting Duck (now the Ole Auburn Alehouse) and took and hour and a half nap. After so we drifted inside the tavern got ourselves non-alcoholic beverages which we were praised for by the bartenders by not having to pay for them. However, we spiked those free chasers the moment we slipped into a private booth. I met Shawn Ikner and did a little sale, after which Nick and I headed over to the rave. There, a whole new day took place.
The Rave (the sort-of-rave that turned out to be insanely fun): Just arriving there we were welcomed graciously by Kenny, who generously told us about 3 for $1 jello shots. BINGO. Nick and I held off for maybe 20 minutes before buying two rounds of three shots. 20 minutes later or so, we ordered another double round of three. Oh yummy! We were still sipping on our mix drinks and smoking cigs and socializing like newly hatched butterflies. My how wonderful it was. There we ran into River and Austin again. Along with Topher. I saw Heather and Drew some of my friends from sophomore year, met these cool people Drew and Lesley, ran into ______, who doesn't even live in Auburn anymore and also saw Jimmy. Nick was able to meet all these people from my past which weighed perfectly with me. I talked of going streaking, recruited 5 people- Nick, Me, Lesley, Drew (just met) and some giant black dude, but it was too cold and there were too few of us to keep warm. Nick and I danced, I put highlighter all over Drew Cool Man, Nick and Lesley, peed a bunch and bought and drank more jello shots with Topher. Near the end of the party, we decided to follow Lesley back to her place, where Drew Cool Man and a couple others were going to be (Heather and this dude Corey that I swear I know from a previous situation came later). We drank some more in there, listened to music, attempted to play a card game and passed out.
: Sunday- Nick and I woke up at Lesley's around 7am, snuck out and snuck back into River's for some more shut eye. Woke up at 9am to a text from my mother, "Where are you at?" Ignore, back to sleep. 10am, moseyed around River's toking and dressing. Packed the car, and left for the last restaurant I would take Nick on this trip, Mama Goldberg's. Got the Mama's chips and two Mama's Loves. Mmmmm, delicious! And with that, we started our trip back to Tampa. An 8 hour trip that took 17 hours, because we took a 5 hour nap an hour or two out of Tampa and a 4 hour nap on Bearss Ave., which is thirty minutes from my home due to tired stoner habits.
: Monday- Made it to Tampa around 9am, what a journey. We drove slow and carefree, totally relaxed and no rushing back to the God-forsaken land of Florida. So here I am, on this Monday night, recounting the wonderful time Nick and I spent together on this learning and growing adventure.
Monday, February 28, 2011
the spark and the blade of grass
The energy became clear
suddenly- a tiny spark
survives on a stomped stogie
as it lays limp in the right lane,
caught by the wind the spark
drifts to a nearby patch-
new green grass sprouts from
a dead yard, greeting the
afternoon sun shyly,
the flicker lands on a fresh
blade, a game emerges:
the ember against Mother Nature-
under the hot summer sun
fire emerges the victor
as the spark nests on a green tip,
it slowly burns the single
blade of grass, growing
vastly each millimeter
until a fire transpires,
enveloping the entire patch
with heated energy;
No longer does a patch of life
exist in the midst of dead earth,
the yard is now truly One
putrefied energy, stagnant
yet hopeful.
suddenly- a tiny spark
survives on a stomped stogie
as it lays limp in the right lane,
caught by the wind the spark
drifts to a nearby patch-
new green grass sprouts from
a dead yard, greeting the
afternoon sun shyly,
the flicker lands on a fresh
blade, a game emerges:
the ember against Mother Nature-
under the hot summer sun
fire emerges the victor
as the spark nests on a green tip,
it slowly burns the single
blade of grass, growing
vastly each millimeter
until a fire transpires,
enveloping the entire patch
with heated energy;
No longer does a patch of life
exist in the midst of dead earth,
the yard is now truly One
putrefied energy, stagnant
yet hopeful.
Friday, February 25, 2011
her and he
her eyes cleared
the mangled tears,
she saw what they saw-
he in front of the church,
arms crossed,
shoulders bent,
hair in face,
tattered clothes.
advance slowly toward
he, careful for
knives may flee
behind holed pockets,
her feet padded
ground silently,
two feet away, her arm
reached up to his
folded forearm, a touch,
he glances her way-
at first a glare
then softens eyes.
he pulls one bound
limb toward her neck,
barely a touch
her warm breath
cradles the body
that confines he,
snaps back, afraid-
her smile assures
he of her good intentions,
a sudden gleam off
a silver knife poking
through his pocket hole,
he panics, knife removed,
points forward,
her quick hand
lowers it away.
sweet smile is given,
he cowers embarrassed,
her silent consideration
washes fear away,
he lingers, head down,
eyes on her twinkling
perfectly painted toes,
her hand lifts chin,
tears fall on her fingers,
he catches her eye, smiles
and dives into her soul
where it is safe from
the terrible world
of the day.
the mangled tears,
she saw what they saw-
he in front of the church,
arms crossed,
shoulders bent,
hair in face,
tattered clothes.
advance slowly toward
he, careful for
knives may flee
behind holed pockets,
her feet padded
ground silently,
two feet away, her arm
reached up to his
folded forearm, a touch,
he glances her way-
at first a glare
then softens eyes.
he pulls one bound
limb toward her neck,
barely a touch
her warm breath
cradles the body
that confines he,
snaps back, afraid-
her smile assures
he of her good intentions,
a sudden gleam off
a silver knife poking
through his pocket hole,
he panics, knife removed,
points forward,
her quick hand
lowers it away.
sweet smile is given,
he cowers embarrassed,
her silent consideration
washes fear away,
he lingers, head down,
eyes on her twinkling
perfectly painted toes,
her hand lifts chin,
tears fall on her fingers,
he catches her eye, smiles
and dives into her soul
where it is safe from
the terrible world
of the day.
The North Wind
ahold of we,
sway muscles uncontrollably,
got this inside,
music becomes one
with the idea of identity,
intoxicate, breathe, no release,
know it's wordless speech
as it sings to dampened souls
tales life never knew
until notes blew wind
North, to the ears of silent
creatures insane by confusion.
music hit that North wind,
ears perked, eyes widened,
realization dawned, mysteries
revealed through the simple
sound of harmony wailing
in the North wind.
sway muscles uncontrollably,
got this inside,
music becomes one
with the idea of identity,
intoxicate, breathe, no release,
know it's wordless speech
as it sings to dampened souls
tales life never knew
until notes blew wind
North, to the ears of silent
creatures insane by confusion.
music hit that North wind,
ears perked, eyes widened,
realization dawned, mysteries
revealed through the simple
sound of harmony wailing
in the North wind.
Grass and Land
Grass inhibits every part,
Legs sprawl into the openness
of the soft green carpet,
Dew seeps inside the uncovered
Skin, an act so miniscule
the Realization of bondage
Escapes the mind,
the Body knows, no need
to Mind the connecting
Particles, the little
tid bits of DNA that spread
throughout the being,
what Binds body to earth.
Legs sprawl into the openness
of the soft green carpet,
Dew seeps inside the uncovered
Skin, an act so miniscule
the Realization of bondage
Escapes the mind,
the Body knows, no need
to Mind the connecting
Particles, the little
tid bits of DNA that spread
throughout the being,
what Binds body to earth.
The Cycle of the Life of Plastic
Congregate my friends,
There is something to learn-
About not only yourself,
The Environment as well.
Oceans are continuously polluted
From our own backyards,
Plastic bags roam into rivers,
Flood into the Earth's main source-
Animals eat these strange
Apparitions, ingest, poison,
Kill, we need these creature
To Survive, we ingest the
Toxic beings into our own
Carcass, a slow venom infiltrates,
Which we pass along to our
Kin, the cycle of
The Life of Plastic,
Quickened by every tick.
There is something to learn-
About not only yourself,
The Environment as well.
Oceans are continuously polluted
From our own backyards,
Plastic bags roam into rivers,
Flood into the Earth's main source-
Animals eat these strange
Apparitions, ingest, poison,
Kill, we need these creature
To Survive, we ingest the
Toxic beings into our own
Carcass, a slow venom infiltrates,
Which we pass along to our
Kin, the cycle of
The Life of Plastic,
Quickened by every tick.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Mr. Glass
Hello, man laying on the bed.
The one laying on the left of the green-sheeted XL twin bed.
The dude, laying on his back holding his laptop close to his face.
The boy stretched out comfortably, his right knee up, plaid boxers hanging out from his medium-wash denim jeans.
The guy with a geometrically decorated belt, barley holding his jeans on his waste.
Hello beautiful man, masked in the corner of the room, lurking in the shadows of the dresser and his own laptop.
The hottie nerd wearing his glasses that he's had since he was eight.
The darling with the cute dimples and sly smile that makes my heart grin.
That one person that is all mine, in his personal glory, my one true love, my soul mate.
The one laying on the left of the green-sheeted XL twin bed.
The dude, laying on his back holding his laptop close to his face.
The boy stretched out comfortably, his right knee up, plaid boxers hanging out from his medium-wash denim jeans.
The guy with a geometrically decorated belt, barley holding his jeans on his waste.
Hello beautiful man, masked in the corner of the room, lurking in the shadows of the dresser and his own laptop.
The hottie nerd wearing his glasses that he's had since he was eight.
The darling with the cute dimples and sly smile that makes my heart grin.
That one person that is all mine, in his personal glory, my one true love, my soul mate.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
The Monsters Ate It
Horizons bloom into oblivion
Where school kids drift off to bed,
No one quite knows the reason
Monsters come alive each night
Like flowers from plants,
They eat fruit from backyard trees,
Leaving poor children to cry
For their dessert is gone
Every blooming spring.
Where school kids drift off to bed,
No one quite knows the reason
Monsters come alive each night
Like flowers from plants,
They eat fruit from backyard trees,
Leaving poor children to cry
For their dessert is gone
Every blooming spring.
Emotional Creature
I am an Emotional Creature.
Oh by golly, how true that is. Thank you Eve Ensler, for giving me encouragement to break free as a woman, proud to be me in every sense of cushiness, pillowed-lipped, fluttery eyed wonderfulness.
The woman's body (from the coveting eyes of a man):
Follow the soft contours of her curves. Starting with her slender, swan-like neck, work your way down to her collar bone, which tastefully frames her beautiful face. Her shoulders round down, creating a glow about her small wistful arms that swing as she walks. Eyes rest on her ample breasts, the soft light flushes off her pale bosom, her fleshy, yet hard nipples practically beg to be touched. Her rib cage settles comfortably below the spectacle, stretching into her plushy stomach, which rounds her wide hips in a lovely splendor. Your eyes follow the inevitable V-shape toward her Garden of Eden, the most forbidden part of her being. Drool falls from your lips, the hunger for her nectar sets in as her curved thighs come into view. Shaped like an upside-down vase, her long legs run toward the ground, sprouting tuliped feet, garnished with blood red petals. Ever so mellifuluously delicate, the Woman's body is coveted by many, however only granted to one.
Oh by golly, how true that is. Thank you Eve Ensler, for giving me encouragement to break free as a woman, proud to be me in every sense of cushiness, pillowed-lipped, fluttery eyed wonderfulness.
The woman's body (from the coveting eyes of a man):
Follow the soft contours of her curves. Starting with her slender, swan-like neck, work your way down to her collar bone, which tastefully frames her beautiful face. Her shoulders round down, creating a glow about her small wistful arms that swing as she walks. Eyes rest on her ample breasts, the soft light flushes off her pale bosom, her fleshy, yet hard nipples practically beg to be touched. Her rib cage settles comfortably below the spectacle, stretching into her plushy stomach, which rounds her wide hips in a lovely splendor. Your eyes follow the inevitable V-shape toward her Garden of Eden, the most forbidden part of her being. Drool falls from your lips, the hunger for her nectar sets in as her curved thighs come into view. Shaped like an upside-down vase, her long legs run toward the ground, sprouting tuliped feet, garnished with blood red petals. Ever so mellifuluously delicate, the Woman's body is coveted by many, however only granted to one.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
mouth watering
pizza cheese dripping
into the mouths of the hungry,
delectable, homemade melted
mozzarella swirling onto their
tongues, igniting a dollop of
warm drool to linger
atop pouty pink lips,
it falls like a droplet of water
from a tulip's petal,
a splash, instantly
soaked up into the carpet,
savor the taste, remember
each intense flavor,
eyes closed, mouth puckered,
curled up with pleasure,
anticipating the first bite
of a foodgasim.
into the mouths of the hungry,
delectable, homemade melted
mozzarella swirling onto their
tongues, igniting a dollop of
warm drool to linger
atop pouty pink lips,
it falls like a droplet of water
from a tulip's petal,
a splash, instantly
soaked up into the carpet,
savor the taste, remember
each intense flavor,
eyes closed, mouth puckered,
curled up with pleasure,
anticipating the first bite
of a foodgasim.
journal entry of Beliefs and Possibilities
Emerson correlates magnificently to the author of The Symphony of the Zodiac. Both authors express ideas that complement the other, which is almost ironic because when I bought and started reading The Symphony of the Zodiac, I thought, and still believe, fate brought me to that book. The ideas, and thoughts that that book sparked inside of me have helped me realize truths I had never thought existed. It really opened up my mind, and gave me the tools to discover life in a new light. Now, in Spring 2011, a year after happening across The Symphony of the Zodiac, I am introduced to Ralph Waldo Emerson's Self Reliance.
Just by reading the introduction, which is written by Richard Whelan, I stand even more inspired. These two books are written in opposite parts of the world-one in America, the other in the East, near India. It's incredible to me that two people, that have never crossed paths or practiced the same religion can come to such similar conclusions about the cycle and purpose of life, the soul, and the human condition. Both write of the idea of the divine self and Universal Soul and most of their convictions make perfect sense to me.
I also must dwell on the possibility of all life extending from one tiny, condensed ball of matter (or energy). Somewhere, there is the point where all existence began, "The Point of Singularity," where all life stems from and still grows from, since the universe is still expanding. What if: all life that this tiny ball of matter creates eventually returns to it, the life-source, which fuels the creation of ever-expanding life forms...
We on this planet, Earth, will eventually collaborate into One being, One existence and become 'rays of light of the sun.' We will progress further into enlightenment, passing through several layers of the higher rings of divinity, until we, as one entity, finally reach (or earn, or become) absolute "Holiness" or "Divinity" that we become to exist as part in that condensed ball of matter. By achieving this highest form of divinity, we will be able to create more life-resulting in the expansion of space, in order to make room for new universes, new solar systems, new planets, new life. This is the point that regulates life as it exists, the point that keeps the circle of everything to keep existing and flowing.
Just by reading the introduction, which is written by Richard Whelan, I stand even more inspired. These two books are written in opposite parts of the world-one in America, the other in the East, near India. It's incredible to me that two people, that have never crossed paths or practiced the same religion can come to such similar conclusions about the cycle and purpose of life, the soul, and the human condition. Both write of the idea of the divine self and Universal Soul and most of their convictions make perfect sense to me.
I also must dwell on the possibility of all life extending from one tiny, condensed ball of matter (or energy). Somewhere, there is the point where all existence began, "The Point of Singularity," where all life stems from and still grows from, since the universe is still expanding. What if: all life that this tiny ball of matter creates eventually returns to it, the life-source, which fuels the creation of ever-expanding life forms...
We on this planet, Earth, will eventually collaborate into One being, One existence and become 'rays of light of the sun.' We will progress further into enlightenment, passing through several layers of the higher rings of divinity, until we, as one entity, finally reach (or earn, or become) absolute "Holiness" or "Divinity" that we become to exist as part in that condensed ball of matter. By achieving this highest form of divinity, we will be able to create more life-resulting in the expansion of space, in order to make room for new universes, new solar systems, new planets, new life. This is the point that regulates life as it exists, the point that keeps the circle of everything to keep existing and flowing.
The Divine Within
If we as humans could comprehend the divine within ourselves, the possibilities would be endless.
Jesus Christ was able to multiply wine and fish, walk on water, raise people from the dead, and even raised himself from the dead. He was superbly in touch with himself and his inner self, and loved endlessly. -What if Jesus was simply a soul that had reached enlightenment but decided to sacrifice (another) life on Earth in order to point humans in the right direction: inward. He taught them how to rely on themselves, essentially, for guidance, though he taught this lesson through example, showing us that our inner selves are divine. Jesus seems to have simply been a being so attune to his own divinity that the seemingly impossible was made possible, the miracles he performed were merely demonstrations of how powerful we can be by reaching Enlightenment within ourselves. Wisdom which is power comes from within the divine spirit, which lies within all creation. All that is necessary to attain this omniscient Wisdom is to believe in our divinity, embrace it, dwell on/in it and accept that we are One with the Universal Soul.
Jesus Christ was able to multiply wine and fish, walk on water, raise people from the dead, and even raised himself from the dead. He was superbly in touch with himself and his inner self, and loved endlessly. -What if Jesus was simply a soul that had reached enlightenment but decided to sacrifice (another) life on Earth in order to point humans in the right direction: inward. He taught them how to rely on themselves, essentially, for guidance, though he taught this lesson through example, showing us that our inner selves are divine. Jesus seems to have simply been a being so attune to his own divinity that the seemingly impossible was made possible, the miracles he performed were merely demonstrations of how powerful we can be by reaching Enlightenment within ourselves. Wisdom which is power comes from within the divine spirit, which lies within all creation. All that is necessary to attain this omniscient Wisdom is to believe in our divinity, embrace it, dwell on/in it and accept that we are One with the Universal Soul.
Universal Light
Look into the light-
This divine exuberance blasting
Forth from the soul, in a
Mad explosion, bathe in your
Light, this ever-present
Wisdom, soak up every bit you can,
For it knows you better than
You know yourself.
This divine exuberance blasting
Forth from the soul, in a
Mad explosion, bathe in your
Light, this ever-present
Wisdom, soak up every bit you can,
For it knows you better than
You know yourself.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Days of Nothing
i've got no where to go,
stuck in one place
i find shit to look at,
and some shit to fill up time,
why do i write?
why can't i find
something worth while-
something that they think is worth while,
i'm fine the way it is,
why can no one support
lackadaisical expansion?
stuck in one place
i find shit to look at,
and some shit to fill up time,
why do i write?
why can't i find
something worth while-
something that they think is worth while,
i'm fine the way it is,
why can no one support
lackadaisical expansion?
The Perks of Drinking
i keep taking
shot after shot,
hoping the pain of the days
will be drowned away
somehow, someway,
shot after shot,
beer after beer,
i've got nothing to show
but happiness and cheer,
leave me on the bench
outside your window,
to have a couple thoughts
while you watch, perplexed
from wine, puff after puff
my mind works on leaving
stupering about across
oceans of spiced rum,
i feel like every thing's alright,
so i take another drag,
accompanied by another shot,
and know all is alright.
shot after shot,
hoping the pain of the days
will be drowned away
somehow, someway,
shot after shot,
beer after beer,
i've got nothing to show
but happiness and cheer,
leave me on the bench
outside your window,
to have a couple thoughts
while you watch, perplexed
from wine, puff after puff
my mind works on leaving
stupering about across
oceans of spiced rum,
i feel like every thing's alright,
so i take another drag,
accompanied by another shot,
and know all is alright.
Sunlight
I watch the rings of light
bear witness to acts of indiscretion,
seeing as how movement
repeats and rewinds, a play
recording what has been, what will be;
those rings of light
circle around their eyes,
dance into their minds,
aiding their decision making skills,
life's controlling factor
weens to and fro
leading them to believe
it's all much bigger than it seems,
although it's no larger than it seems.
bear witness to acts of indiscretion,
seeing as how movement
repeats and rewinds, a play
recording what has been, what will be;
those rings of light
circle around their eyes,
dance into their minds,
aiding their decision making skills,
life's controlling factor
weens to and fro
leading them to believe
it's all much bigger than it seems,
although it's no larger than it seems.
comment on society
write, write, write... what they tell me to do. i hear them repeating words to me, words and phrases, what to do, what to do? so many options, i'm overwhelmed. what am i supposed to do? work, write, work. be part of society...society. go to school, get a degree, get a job, make money, find a place to live, pay bills, buy food, make a family. sounds about right. this society bears us, so it can mold us into it and help it grow. oh society. i write, work, write some more, for me, for society.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
we exist as Pebbles in Sand
Days move swiftly
like tumbleweed roaring
past desert storms and unhealthy
norms. Dawdle silently, no
one is to hear the
slow progression of our
lives, our sad pathetic
lies. Much is accomplished
by aimlessly betting time away,
we learn and search,
curiosity tightens it's grip
around putrid throats. Ah!
Enlightenment pours through
harvested souls, infiltrating
every ambiguous aspect of our
being. Onward we march, knowledgeable
by extinction, grand through
Divination.
like tumbleweed roaring
past desert storms and unhealthy
norms. Dawdle silently, no
one is to hear the
slow progression of our
lives, our sad pathetic
lies. Much is accomplished
by aimlessly betting time away,
we learn and search,
curiosity tightens it's grip
around putrid throats. Ah!
Enlightenment pours through
harvested souls, infiltrating
every ambiguous aspect of our
being. Onward we march, knowledgeable
by extinction, grand through
Divination.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
After the Shoot Off
Quick draw McGraw-
You're dead in an instant!
Ha! I am much faster
And skilled, I have proved
Myself worthy of all praise,
I would like to thank--
I would like to thank-
Well, myself!
Aren't I just grand?!
I drew my pistol and killed
You in a split second,
Hit you right in the head,
Oh, what a shot,
You should have seen it!
Now I am left alone,
With your bloody corpse
To revel in my victory,
How it pleases me!
How I please me!
Thank you ladies and gents,
Thank you mom and dad,
Thank you God,
For giving me such abilities!
Now I shall celebrate with Brandy-
The drink and the girl.
You're dead in an instant!
Ha! I am much faster
And skilled, I have proved
Myself worthy of all praise,
I would like to thank--
I would like to thank-
Well, myself!
Aren't I just grand?!
I drew my pistol and killed
You in a split second,
Hit you right in the head,
Oh, what a shot,
You should have seen it!
Now I am left alone,
With your bloody corpse
To revel in my victory,
How it pleases me!
How I please me!
Thank you ladies and gents,
Thank you mom and dad,
Thank you God,
For giving me such abilities!
Now I shall celebrate with Brandy-
The drink and the girl.
On the Topic of Relating
Measurements take toll,
Time spent is never
Well spent, nor is
Time doing nothing
Take less energy--
Stuck in a tight grip,
Waist held firmly
Between past and present,
Regret crushes the
Guilty intently--
All success is magnificent,
Every accomplishment, failure,
Relativity is relative
Retrospectively space is round
Yet flat, dense, yet vast--
Time spent is never
Well spent, nor is
Time doing nothing
Take less energy--
Stuck in a tight grip,
Waist held firmly
Between past and present,
Regret crushes the
Guilty intently--
All success is magnificent,
Every accomplishment, failure,
Relativity is relative
Retrospectively space is round
Yet flat, dense, yet vast--
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Waiting
I have busied myself
All day, waiting for
Him to come back to me;
I cleaned my room,
Finished three loads of laundry,
Vacuumed my car,
Showered most thoroughly,
Painted my face prettily,
Dressed carefully-
Wearing his shirt I love so much;
And I am still left waiting,
Patiently waiting,
Feeling no rush or worry,
Simply a calm peace of
Quiet anticipation for
The man I love to wrap
His strong arms around me
Once again,
Knowing he will return
Brightens my being,
Fuels meaning to my projects,
To my daily activities;
For now, I shall
Simply wait.
All day, waiting for
Him to come back to me;
I cleaned my room,
Finished three loads of laundry,
Vacuumed my car,
Showered most thoroughly,
Painted my face prettily,
Dressed carefully-
Wearing his shirt I love so much;
And I am still left waiting,
Patiently waiting,
Feeling no rush or worry,
Simply a calm peace of
Quiet anticipation for
The man I love to wrap
His strong arms around me
Once again,
Knowing he will return
Brightens my being,
Fuels meaning to my projects,
To my daily activities;
For now, I shall
Simply wait.
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